May 19th
Phnom Penh
I preached this past Sunday. I preached on trust. I chose this topic, mostly because I was persuaded to. Colin and Marissa suggested this topic after many conversations about what is next for me. They were convinced that through my preparations, God would reveal something to me.
They were right.
I always thought that I was good at trust. I thought I trusted people and God. But I have learned that I don’t trust well. Trust dives deep to the heart of the person or relationship. Is that person for me? Is the heart behind the relationship good? And I realized that I mostly filter people and relationships through rejection. Through a thought or fear that the heart behind it isn’t for me.
I discovered that I filter God through that too. I know in my mind that God is for me – Psalm 56:9 tells me so. But I don’t think that I ever wrapped my heart around that. I always thought that God was waiting for me to mess up, pick up the pieces because He is a nice God, but then get frustrated with me because He has had to do it so many times and I still don’t get it. So, mostly my trust was trying not to mess up too badly so as to not annoy God or worse, have Him get tired of me and be done with me.
I grew up believing a lot of lies about myself and about God. And so as I grew in my faith, I learned the Truth and learned how to combat the lies. The trouble with that is, if the lie is seemingly stronger than the truth then I am doomed. I can call out a great truth and fight the lies but what if it is the wrong truth or not strong enough to beat the lie. I lived in a constant state of tug of war, just waiting to be pulled by the lies into the pit of doom in the middle. This sounds ridiculous, I know. Perhaps a brilliant description of what trust doesn’t look like. It isn’t a battle, leaving you breathless from the fight or scared of your impending doom.
2 Chronicles 20:22 says that “you need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf.” This verse has helped me to change my idea of trust. The battle isn’t mine. I am not left to fight or work toward victory. I am just told to station myself, to stand and watch. Here is what I have learned about what that verse looks like. It is a very different visual than the tug of war. Thankfully, it is less exhausting.
Trust is defined as confidence and hope.
And confidence is found in our position while hope is found in our posture.
Our position is this. We are rooted and established in love (Eph. 3:17). Picture the roots of a tree. They form the foundation for the tree to grow. Our foundation is love. It is the foundation for us to grow. And it isn’t just any love. God tells us in Hosea, that He will betroth me to Him forever. Betroth is a covenant. It isn’t a contract that if we break our end, He is free to break His. It is a great love. The kind of love that establishes you and holds you and keeps you.
Eugene Peterson, in A Long Obedience in the Same Direction says, that our lives should be bordered on one side by a memory of God’s acts and the other by hope in God’s promises. So our position, rooted in love, is smack dab in the middle of what God has done for us and what He will do for us. We are securely between stones of remembrance and His promises for us.
Our posture then is one of worship. We press our feet in to knowing more of the Lord. To knowing the Love that we are rooted in. Just as the roots press in to the soil to constantly provide the tree with water and minerals, we are to press in to the love that quenches our thirst. Roots constantly grow deeper and concur new depths to get sufficient growth and life. We are to press our feet into the life-giving love that allows us to grow deeper and concur new depths.
We are also to watch expectantly. With our hands raised upwards and our face towards the sky, we stand and wait and watch for Him to act on our behalf. And He will. He is good. He isn’t waiting for you to mess up. He is a good daddy poised and ready to pour out His abundant blessings on you. In a posture of worship, your arms are already outstretched to receive all that He has for you.
There is great freedom in this kind of trust. There is great security too. We are secure in our position between what God has done for us and what He will do for us. And as we stand and watch expectantly, He won’t let us miss it. He won’t. Whatever it is, you can’t miss it in that position and that posture. That is trust.
Here is a painting my friend and talented artist, Kendra Baird (kendrastudios.com) painted about trust – the vision I gave her about our position and posture.
