August 31, 2010
Malaybalay, Philippines
We left Renato’s house and tears were still streaming down my face. There was a brief moment I felt sobs coming, the ugly cry. I knew I couldn’t cry like that, it would have to wait. I had to get to the jail. On the way there, I realized I wasn’t sure what I was going to teach them. I was trying to coach myself through the fact that it mattered. I was questioning it at this point, with Renato’s words still fresh in my heart.
We did review and then worked on some new words. I am so glad that we did because Jonathan did so well. He made me laugh and made me proud. There was a glimmer of hope that it really was going to be okay.
I had them get their homework out that I had them do a couple of days ago. I wanted them to answer this question: What does it mean to be a man? I have been reading a book called Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis that suggests our world is in chaos because men don’t know the answer to this question. As I continue to read, I agree. And based on the boys response, it was proven to me. When the translator asked them to get out their homework, they all looked around kind of shyly. I could tell they were either confused or that they didn’t do it. The translator told me that they didn’t do it. There were only 3 out of the 10 that wrote something down. We asked to see their response and they reluctantly handed it over. I asked her why the others didn’t do it, so she asked them. She then turned to me and said, they don’t know the answer. I thanked them for their honesty and realized this author was right. They need to know how to be men.
Thankfully, William was with me and I asked him to share what it meant to him to be a man. He shared from his heart – his story, his thoughts, his challenges. And then he said something that I think is pretty profound. He said, “Men don’t do easy.” He continued to explain that when there is an option in front of you to do easy, men don’t take that option. Whether it is character, integrity, morals, faith. It doesn’t necessarily have to be hard for the sake of being hard, but men don’t take short cuts.
William was saying this in light of Renato’s option for easy. Renato even mentioned that it was too hard. And it is. Our culture spends much time on making things easy.- microwaves, hot showers and cars, to name a few. Isn’t there even a commercial with a red button labeled easy? There is much pressure on men to be leaders and to be great. But they don’t know how. Robert Lewis says that boys become men in the presence of a clear vision for manhood. And that is what is missing in so many. These boys don’t have that. Renato’s father is a drug dealer. So is Jokim’s. Jonathan’s father is dead – killed by his mother because of betrayal. Rene’s uncle actually framed Rene, he is the reason Rene is in jail and Rene is innocent. These young men don’t have an example, don’t have a clear vision of what it looks like. They are left to make it up. And it just doesn’t work.
Please pray that we can teach them how to be men. To paint a clear picture of what masculinity looks like and how Jesus, fully man, did it.
