I’m currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop where I have spent countless hours studying, consuming large amounts of caffeine, and engaging in deep conversations with good friends. This little coffee shop has been a place of comfort for me throughout the last three years. The aroma of fresh coffee beans and the soothing taste of steaming chai tea always brings peace to my soul. I can’t pinpoint what originally sparked my love for this coffee shop, but I think it grew on me slowly and gently over time, and I’m glad it did.
I remember being here with my sister a couple years ago. It was during a very painful time in my life and my sister was one of the few people I talked to often throughout that time. We came here to study together and have meaningless conversations that made us laugh hysterically and always made me feel better despite how much emotional pain I was feeling inside. I treasure those sweet memories so much and hope I never forget them.
I am vividly recalling all of these memories because two days from now will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my sister’s life. She is leaving for college to start her life as a full time student and a college soccer player.
I started helping her pack her stuff today and I was overcome with sadness that we really have to say goodbye. I didn’t think it would be this hard. This train wreck of emotion took me by surprise.
I suddenly felt like the over-emotional mom who doesn’t want her baby girl to leave and unintentionally embarrasses her daughter by crying hysterically in front of everyone.
Saying good-bye to my little sister is especially hard for so many reasons. Sisters share an unspoken bond that deeply connects our hearts. We understand each other better than anyone else on so many levels. We laugh at jokes that no one else does and have the same sense of humor that not many people can relate to. We grew up together and watched each other mature into adults. We fought and annoyed each other more times than I can count. We cried together during hard times, laughed together during funny times, and did so many fun, stupid, and adventurous things together over the years.
I am learning that one of the hardest things about loving people deeply is that it also hurts deeply at times.
Over the past few days, I have realized this next year is going to be filled with heart-break only because of how much it will also be filled with love. I am starting to understand that pieces of my heart will be left all over the world. It’s going to be hard, but it’s ultimately going to be worth it. It’s going to be a blessing to have the opportunity to love people deeply all around the world, no matter how much it hurts.
I know I am only experiencing a taste of this by saying good bye to my little sister. I know she is going to go on to do great things in her life. She is adventurous, passionate, funny, loving, and compassionate. I’m so proud of the person she has become.
I will miss her more than I can put into words, but that is something I will gladly accept in exchange for loving deeply.
Thank you for making my life brighter, Anna. You are a true and beautiful blessing.
