The Things She Carried

A year ago, I landed in India with 54 other World Racers and squad leaders, unaware of the journey that lay ahead.

 

Along the way, I collected momentos that would always remind me of the whirlwind that was taking place in and around me. These are the things I carried.

 

 

 

At the end of our ministry month in India, we were able to take part in celebrating the women who had been a part of the last year’s entrepreneurship program. All these women had come up with small business plans, attended classes, and used their business income to both repay their initial loan and save more money that would eventually help pay their daughters’ dowries (the purpose of the program). Team Themelios donned beautiful new saris and spent the day celebrating the hard work of some beautiful, strong, and brave women.

 

 

I got my first tattoo in Nepal. It says “To love is to be vulnerable,” which is part of a C. S. Lewis quote from his book entitled The Four Loves. The first time I heard Lewis’ quote, I was a senior in high school, and it’s stuck with me ever since. I want to be the kind of person who is willing to open myself up and love deeply without putting up walls in fear of getting hurt (if you’ve read my other blogs lately, remember that I’m a work in progress). And much to my mom’s relief, they used a clean needle and I’m Hep-free!

 

 

Vietnam was a difficult month. I missed the comfortability of home and the community that I had left behind, and I was unsure of what connection with fellow Racers was supposed to look like. Team Themelios took as weekend at the end of our ministry month and went to a beautiful beach for some much-needed r&r. We sat in the sun, ate pho for almost every meal, and were able to rest in the beauty of the earth that the Lord has created. Shells littered the beach we were at, and I took some of my favorites with me.

 

 

Cambodia was a strange ministry month. Many days, we spent more time at our host’s home than we did teaching or painting. However, we learned that our hosts were some of the only Christians in the area where they lived, and they were really lonely. They had Hindu family members living in the area, but their family wouldn’t talk to them because of their faith. When we left, we found that the family had written all of us cards thanking us for simply loving them and pouring into them.

 

 

My boyfriend and I broke up at the tail end of our month in Thailand. I felt totally broken and ungrounded and like I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or in what direction I was supposed to move. Minutes after what ended up being our final conversation, I wrote my first journal entry in a new, clean, fresh journal. That journal became my lifeline throughout of Europe. Pretty much everything I did, felt, experienced, and thought is written within those pages. The cover says “Then sings my soul / How great Your love is” from the Hillsong song Beloved.

 

 

Albania was one of my favorite months, but it was also a really hard month. The Lord brought me face to face with a lot of fears and insecurities, and I still felt emotionally wrecked from my breakup. One of the things the Lord asked me to walk into was a fear of alcohol; with the hold that drinking had in my past, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to drink a beer (something I really love) or a glass of wine or anything again without feeling extreme anxiety, guilt, and shame. The Lord was so sweet to bring healing and restoration to that part of my life, and I saved a bottle cap to serve as a reminder.

 

 

Greece was our ATL (Ask The Lord) month, and it was a month of stories of God’s faithfulness and sovereignty. One of the ways I got to experience Him personally in that way was by meeting Nikki, who worked at Coffee Island. Nikki and I got to form a relationship over the course of the month, and I got to pray for her and speak the truth of her identity over her. Before leaving, I stopped by to get a Coffee Island cup as a way to remember the amazing things God had done that month.

 

 

My leggings are a sweet reminder of the life that I did with my second team. I would wear a pair of black leggings to bed every night, and they had some (laughably placed) holes in them. We celebrated my birthday that month, and my team surprised me with crepes and mimosas (freaking YUM) and a new pair of galaxy-print leggings. It was a such a sweet way to spend my birthday!

 

 

Tracey was my first and best friend from my month in Zimbabwe. I found out that she collected stuffed animals, and I had been carrying around a stuffed sock monkey to give to someone, so I decided to give it to her. At the end of the month, Tracey came to me carrying the stuffed monkey (named Teddy) that she slept with every night. “I don’t have any money to buy you anything,” she told me, “but I want you to have my Teddy, because it’s the thing I care about most in the world, and you’ve been one of my best friends, and I want him to go with you.”

 

 

Adventures Swaziland partners closely with Children’s Hope Chest, which is an organization run out of Colorado Springs. Years ago, my church decided to sponsor a care point in Swaziland, and sold bags that the Gogos at the care point had sewn. My mom bought me one for my birthday all those years ago, and when I went back to Swaziland, I was able to get a new one.

 

 

I started the Race with a few random passport stamps from my trips to Ireland and Italy. Now, 11 months later, I have a conglomeration of stamps and Visa stickers from across the world. Every once in a while, I’ll flip through in amazement of the opportunity God asked me to join Him in this past year, and I’ll dream about where we’ll go next.