Beauty . . . true beauty is something seldom seen these days. We all have the capability to understand it but few will ever make that choice. Beauty has been suppressed by the evils of the world. Only love can bring beauty out and once it is truly found it cannot hide. Not even hatred can deny beauty of it's true design. Beauty, although possessed by all, few and fewer yet will ever behold one of the most beautiful sights, the true beauty in who we are.
I, along with every person, has committed some atrocity in life worthy of death, death because it is sin, and sin in itself is death. I could never cast judgment on someone no matter how disturbing their story because I have been there too, the one caught and swallowed up in all the world has to offer. How could I be considered anything more than filth? For so much of my life I felt like this and I allowed myself to be used, manipulated and thrown off to the side battered and broken by so many that came into my life. Just maybe my worth could be found in a fling or a night out, things that I allowed myself to believe in for so long.
My heart breaks when I look back on what I allowed to happen in my life. I could never be worthy of anything and especially not love, but because of grace, I have found everything. I found that true beauty everyone desires just a few years ago on a night in May. The month after that I experience unconditional love in the most dismal of places. I have come to find that the most beautiful of stories arise from the ashes of our most devastating failures. That is the beauty of grace. The emptiness that tries to creep in day after day is met but the unfailing love of my Savior. In His eyes I am the most beautiful . . . daughter . . . beloved. I have found a fullness of joy and understanding in His arms. He has held me through the darkest of nights and wept tears over me in longest hours. He has delighted in me and makes me whole, in His eyes I have found my worth. Despite my failures, the aftermath of years wasted, my longings have been met in the arms of the one who will and always has loved me the most, My Father, Abba, God. I know what is it like to be so broken, for people to cast judgement, and to be used and played by people. I still find myself in moments because of the world that I live in, but I stand here today knowing who I am that I am and will always be worth so much more. Maybe not in the eyes of a single person on this earth, but by God, the only one who should ever have mattered in the first place. I have found the beauty of life from the ashes.
Ezekiel 36:24-27
I will take you from the nations and gather you from all the countries and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleanliness, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
