Lately I have felt like the majority of my day, although I work an 8-5 job, revolves around fundraising. Often times I catch myself thinking, “I cannot imagine doing this for the rest of my life”, & honestly I can’t! Fundraising is HARD WORK! It’s hard, it is stressful, & it takes a lot of time & creativity. Sometimes I feel like a complete failure & I just want to give up & say this is not worth it. I want to cancel every fundraiser & tell people I changed my mind, this is too hard, but I cant. The absolute beauty of God is that He says, “You are not alone. I will walk beside you.” I needed that reminder today as I woke up at 4:30am unable to go back to sleep because my mind was reeling thinking of my upcoming fundraiser & knowing that only 2 people had said they were coming. This morning I didn’t feel like it, didn’t want to get out of bed & face the day, didn’t want to text more people to see if they would come, and definitely didn’t want to even think about doing another fundraiser if they were going to go like this. Some days fundraising just hurts, the weight seems too great!
In the past few weeks week I watched my team rejoice in what God was doing, lots of anonymous donations of $100, $1000, & then even an incredible donation of $11,000! God has taught me a lot about being an encourager & rejoicing when others rejoice. That is such a hard concept because those two characteristics are not me, but God is shaping me more into that person. And so, as I see amazing things happen for others on my team, I rejoice with them & thank God for the blessings He is pouring out. Part of me wants to pity myself, be selfish & think poor me, where is God in my fundraising. I see His hand in others lives, but where is He when I have fundraisers, will He provide? But then I recall multiple passages of scripture which always remind me of the promises He has for us!
Numbers 11 is an incredible passage about God’s frustration with His people, His just anger, & His provision when we least deserve it.
16 The Lord said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you. 17 I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.
18 “Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. 19 You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, 20 but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”’”
21 But Moses said, “Here I am among six hundred thousand men on foot, and you say, ‘I will give them meat to eat for a whole month!’ 22 Would they have enough if flocks and herds were slaughtered for them? Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?”
23 The Lord answered Moses, “Is the Lord’s arm too short? Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.” << this verse is what hooked me the first time I read it, sure the story is cool, but that question and the answer got me. So often I want to rely on myself to provide and have it all figured out. Those are the times I remember this question and realize I don’t have to do it on my own. God is Father and He can provide and wishes to provide for us, even when we complain & grumble to Him.
The other passage is from the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 6. 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I feel like this goes hand in hand with the passage from Numbers 11 because God reminds me that He is able. He can, He will, & He wants to provide for us.
I love it that both of these passages speak of God’s provision in our lives. Even when we think God’s blessing have run out, still He gives more . . . more than we could ever fathom! My Father is such a giver & He LOVES to bless His children. I am watching Him do miracles in my team’s lives & watching Him come through in my own. I love that He puts it on people’s hearts to give & sometimes anonymously. God's economy is not like ours, it is never ending & it never runs out! God longs to bless His children. I am believing God for miracles in my fundraising. I have poured a lot of time & effort into what I have raised so far & I believe in the end He will come through for me. I know I have been called for this season in my life to serve on the mission field. To give all I have emotionally, physically, and spiritually to those who are broken, unloved, and lost in the world. Not only do I completely have to walk in my faith, but I have put my financial needs & all of my other needs in the hands of my Father. His beautiful scarred hands that have held me before I was born & who has called me to live out this amazing & testing journey. He will lift us up as we proclaim His goodness & love. Be blessed today.
