I recently had a series of conversations that all addressed the same topic. Has that ever happened to you? When you’ve never thought about something particular before but suddenly you have like three serious unsolicited conversations about that topic right in a row?
Here’s what I’ve been talking about: nobody believes everything is awesome all the time.
It wasn’t an indictment, it was personal reflection. When everything is optimistic, growing, fantastic and positive…it’s unbelievable. It’s not that people think you’re disingenuous, they’re just skeptical. If I’m honest, I’ve actually had that critique of others. Real life is hard.
I wonder if in writing these blogs if I’ve been honest…
I feel like I’m being truthful. I DO believe that what I’m doing matters. I AM optimistic about the impact I’m making with this team. I WANT partners to buy into the vision.
So it’s not about honesty…
It’s perspective…a more holistic perspective.
So you want perspective? Life is hard. Not in an “all hope is lost” kind of way, but in pulling back the curtain…well, here’s what you might see:
I’m running four departments. Try managing THAT schedule with excellence. People are deeply important to me and almost always get the time they ask for…sometimes at my detriment or the quality by which I can get other things done.
I’m trying to wrap my head around a program that’s been running for 22 years (Adventures Youth) and trying to evaluate, restructure, set up and dream for the future. I can only thank God for some years of past experience to even know what to ask. I turned down the job of supervising Adventures Youth twice before accepting the position because I’m not good a marketing or finance…and in the two months I’ve been running this program, I’ve spent 80% of my efforts learning and figuring out marketing…and finances…
I want the people I lead to feel cared for and special…but I’m sinking into a norm of “if you don’t ask for help I’ll assume you’re okay.” I feel like I have an excellent pulse on things, don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather have the freedom and time to do more.
On top of all that, I believe God’s told me He’d prompt people to give money towards my support…God threw out an outrageous number of what He said He’d provide…and it scares me because I don’t think I have the time to make enough requests, rub enough shoulders, cast enough vision or make enough contact to make it happen. I don’t know how I’m going to raise an additional $10,000 this year…and that takes every ounce of faith not to let it stress me out.
I want to celebrate the three people who responded to my September Birthday Month 30 for $30, but it’s daunting to see 27 unfilled spaces.
I’m by nature a positive person so you’re not going to see many blogs like this. But I do love a good challenge and I’ve seen God pull off the impossible. I’m not discouraged, but I want you to see the other side.
This is real. This is what I’m pouring my life out for. I couldn’t be more fulfilled, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Does this help give some…perspective?
