Resolution to “When God closes the door”
Bridgette did end up coming off the race and going to stay with another missionary friend. There was an “agree to disagree” ending though the relationship between Bridgette and the organization is still in tact. Life has moved on and the team ended in a very healthy place. Things improved after her exit and leadership decided to make the decision ultimately on behalf of the other racers who were neither emotionally healthy enough themselves nor trained to help Bridgette through the remainder of the journey.
Grace Maxed Out
One of the things I admire about Adventures in Missions as a whole is there tremendous dedication to the extension of grace. There is no pressure or expectation for perfection and everyone is free to be honest and admit their shortcomings and faults. Mistakes that are made are mourned and moved on from in a way that shows the beauty of God’s command to forgive 70 x 7 times.
We stand on the belief that the grace of God is limitless. It has no conditions or bounds, it is always available and always complete. The balance comes when consequences follow actions even when grace is extended.
One of my teammates from last year tested this for me. Dave is a life-of-the-party kinda guy. He’d recently come out of a life of clubbing, womanizing, expensive cars, alcohol abuse and the like. He surfs through life on his charm and passion and people are drawn to him. I was excited to spend the year with him even given the differences in our personalities (which proved to be extreme).
Everyone that begins the race has an adjustment period, a time to settle into who they really are – to stop putting up masks and operating on first impressions and begins to come to peace with the chaos. Dave, in his hyperactive state, dealt with the stress by staying active. He was constantly bored and was on the search for the latest anything that would be entertaining. His distorted understanding of the Holy Spirit and of missions led him to outrageous expectations of his World Race experience. He would often claim that he needed “one good miracle” to get his year jumpstarted. He would be the first up front to get gifts of the spirit if they were being “offered” by pastors or teachers – in a sense he saw them as superpowers – which were cool!
As we went through our first month of ministry, it became apparent that his intention for this trip was to see the world, go on safari’s, drink good beer and eat weird foods. He was bored with ministry times and hated anything to do with team interaction. He wouldn’t pray, didn’t want to share, complained about any and everything that was boring or uncomfortable. Quite honestly, I didn’t even know why he stayed.
Our team gave him chance after chance. We tried to work everything around things that would make him comfortable, kept meetings short, made sure to sprinkle fun in with ministry – all while trying to process our own issues. At the end of the month, I had had it. He had made no progress, shown no interest in anything that was going on and had no desire to make things better.
At our debrief, I went to leadership to ask for advice, Dave was talked to and eventually switched to a new team – one that might be a better fit for him. The second month saw him retreat back into a hole with almost no interaction other than frustration and the continual boredom. By the end of the second month, no discernable progress had been made.
Two teams have now been affected by his dysfunction. Coaching, teaching, listening, adapting, and the like have all been tried without acknowledged or measurable success. What does leadership do?
