There are many times when I feel as though I am second best. There are many times when people go out, and at the last minute think “Oh yeah, we should probably invite Jill”. There are many times when something happens, and only a few days later do people think “Oh yeah, someone should probably tell Jill”. There are many times at school where people pick groups, and when groups are formed only do people think “Oh yeah, Jill should probably have a group too.”
There are many times when I am simply not the first choice. When I know I am not someone’s first priority or thought. Quite simply, the world does not revolve around me, and that is something I am learning to understand and accept. Being Second Best Hurts.
Something has been revealed to me. I’ve been making God my second best.
There are many times where I will be planning on going to Youth, and at the last minute change my mind because I have too much homework. There are many times I will be planning on doing a devotion before bed, but I skip it because I am much too tired. There are many times where I could show God’s love to someone, but pass on the opportunity because it would have been out of my way.
There is no away around it. This hurts God.
I am his best, not his second best. He created me in beautiful in his likeness, and stated that ‘I am Good’. He pursues me every second of the day. He goes out of his way to show his love to me. He holds my hand as I walk through life, and provides me with peace when I need it most.
He should be my best.
On this trip, I have no major expectations. I expect that God will work in ways that are unexpected, day in and day out. His ways may be huge, or they may be in the little, mundane things of day to day life. I expect that I will grow in him. I heard it said once that you are always growing in God, just on a missions trip your growth is enhanced with a catalyst. I expect that everyday will not be easy, and that every moment will not be fun. I expect that I will experience thousands of new things. Only God knows what is in store for me, and I have to expect that he will come through in his absolutely amazing ways.
I will only be able to fully experience what God has planned for me if He becomes my best. My first priority, and my true love.
With Love,
Jill
