I am afraid. I am scared out of my mind actually. In 9 months, I will be leaving for 9 months. Leaving my family, my friends and the known behind. Diving head first into the unknown.
I am uneducated. I do not know the countries I will be splitting my time between, so I do not know what to prepare. I do not know what we will be doing. I do not know the first thing about living out of a backpack, or in a tent. I am the least qualified person that God could have chosen.
I am uncomfortable. This whole experience will be new. Nothing I have ever done before, nor will probably do again. I have not met a single person who I am going to be family with face-to-face. So much is outside of my realm of normality and comfort.
All this excites me though. It motivates me to keep going. It is the reason I am going on this trip to begin with. The reason that in September 2015, I will be leaving for 9 months and spending 3 months in Central America, 3 months in South East Asia, and 3 months in Africa.
God requires us to be removed from our comfort zones for Him to fully take hold and work in our lives. Having the comforts taken away, He becomes our lone source of comfort and our strength to rely on. I am seeking him.
When I was in grade 11, I was looking at various missions programs to do once I graduated, but none of them struck me. Until I found the World Race Gap Year! Ask my friends, it was pretty much all I talked about, and all I still talk about. God kept reminding me of the trip in every aspect of my life. He was constantly telling me that this was what he wanted me to do. I have been on two missions trips in the past few years, to Cambodia and Guatemala. Both of these trips opened my eyes and strengthened my love of missions, children, and God. They both taught me so much, and they were what led me to going on Gap Year. I could be going to University, I could be staying home, I could be working, but I am not. I am not following the status-quo and going with the flow. I am following Jesus.
It is Jesus causing me to be afraid. It is Jesus picking me, the uneducated one. It is Jesusmaking me uncomfortable. Jesus uses the fear, and turns it into trust. He uses the uneducated, and makes them educated in Him. And he makes me uncomfortable so I can find comfort in Him and His Word.
I am stepping out, and stepping into Him.
Love Jill
