I grew up knowing, believing in and loving Jesus.
I can't really remember a time where those things where not a part of me.
Christianity and Jesus were my norms and I never really questioned it all that much.
I have started to realize that I have been desperately longing and desiring for more then a religion and have been dying to have a relationship with Jesus.
I am starting to know what that looks like, but have kinda been at a loss for how to obtain that.
I am on this thing called the World Race and am daily being exposed to things that leave me with one response "Jesus is so cool".
I found that all of the things that used to be enough for me were no longer working.
I was no longer okay with just reading my Bible and praying, no longer okay with just being involved in church, no longer okay with just being a good person and living a good life and definitely no longer okay with religion.
I want to follow the God like the God of the Bible.
I want to see and be part of the things that I read about.
I want to hear from God, I want to witness the blind see, I want to see people healed of terminal diseases, I want to see the hungry fed, I want to see the homeless given homes and I want to see people fall in love with Jesus and not a religion.
This all came crashing down on me at what was supposed to be a simple Bible study on Sunday morning.
I sat in the living room area of Beam house in Pretoria, South Africa expecting to hear our ministry contact Louie teach us something from the Bible, sing a couple songs and pray.
Let me just tell you that is not what happened.
Louie started off asking if anyone had something they needed prayer for.
He looked at me and I cleared my throat with a cough and he laughed as he asked "Is that all you've got for us?" I just started crying and said "I want to hear from God so bad, but I just don't. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I don't know if I should read my Bible more or pray more. I just don't know what to do."
He looked at me and asked if I knew the day that I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life.
Not just a decision, but a specific time where I asked Jesus to come into my life and as a result things changed.
The answer was no, so that is what I said.
But in my mind I got really defensive and was like there is no way this guy is going to try and tell me that I am not saved and lead me in the sinners prayer right now.
I mean I am here to lead people in the prayer not say the prayer.
Really?? I am in South Africa on an 11 month missions trip.
I do not need the sinners prayer.
He went on to talk about some verses in the Bible that show that when we accept Jesus into our lives things change and we are not the same.
We become children of God and as a result things are different.
I had never had that experience of a different life and honestly I wanted it.
So after he was done talking he asked me if I wanted to invite Jesus to forgive me for all of my sins and become the Lord of my life and with that change my heart, mind and life?
I said "yes" and prayed that exact prayer.
I don't doubt that I loved Jesus and was doing my best to love and follow him, because I know I was, but I also know when I prayed that prayer it was a fresh start for me. It was me saying yes to more than religion, but saying yes to Jesus.
It was a time where I was able to proclaim and own that I know without any ounce of doubt that I have a relationship with Jesus and he is my father.
There is nothing that will every change that, and with that change my life is going to look and be lived completely different than it was before.
It is a fresh start.
Everything that used to be was over and it gave opportunity for all things new to have a chance to grow.
I officially entered a covenant with Jesus.
I am reading a book called The Supernatural Ways of Royalty. In one of the sections it is talking about being in covenant and what that looks likes. The author shows three characteristics that a covenant has.
1. It is an agreement that is only broken by death.
2. The person making the covenant dies to themselves for the sake of their covenant partner.
3. People who are in the covenant give each other the right to influence their decisions.
So when we take the step and make the decision to accept Jesus as our personal savior and let him change our lives we are entering into a covenant relationship with him.
So for me when I said yes to Jesus I made a covenant with him that looks like this….
1. It is permanent. It is forever. Nothing can break it.
2. This life is no longer about my wants and needs, but about serving Jesus.
3. Jesus has the right to influence and have a say in every decision that comes my way.
Basically, I am in the relationship for what I can give to it, not just for what I can receive from it. I love this because it emphasizes that it is a two way street. It is not only about what we receive, but also what we give.
So now that there is this covenant in place baptism is the prophetic act that initiates this covenant.
I GOT BAPTIZED!
When I was dunked into the water I died to my old life that I was leaving behind and I arose out of the water into a new life.
When I went under the water I was no longer a slave to sin and it no longer had any power over me and when I arose out of the water I had a new life to be lived for the glory of God.
I made a list of all of the things I am leaving behind:
Fear of rejection.
Religion.
Not being fully in.
Using Jesus to be "okay"
Doubt.
Believing/letting Satan's lies get to me.
Here are the list of things that I am walking into:
Hearing from God.
A life full of using my gifts, talents and abilities for the purpose that God has given them to me for.
Freedom.
A life of serving Jesus.
Walking in the truth.
Jesus, today I make a covenant with you that I will spend the rest of my life serving you. My main goal for this life is to full heartedly follow you and to give everything and anything to accomplish all that you have prepared for me to do in this life.
