I am on the World Race.
I am in month 8.
Month 1 South Africa Month 2 South Africa Month 3 Swaziland
Month 4 China Month 5 Philippines Month 6 India
Month 7 Romania Month 8 Ukraine
This is the best and worst adventure God has ever taken me on.
With home being just around the corner I have found it harder and harder to keep my mind here.
I have caught myself talking about all of the wonders awaiting me at home: warm showers, family, friends, people/menus that are in english, the good food, my very own bed and room, the idea of unpacking and not living out of a back pack and toiletry bag and all of the other things that have honestly just become distant memories.
God has given me big dreams and I know that exciting things are awaiting me when I get home and I am so excited to start the next adventure.
The current adventure has held many tears and smiles.
Tears in moments where all I want is to be home where it is comfortable.
Smiles when I have seen God use me to touch someones life.
Tears when I really just wanted to hug my mom and dad.
Smiles when God taught me a lesson that will make the rest of my life so much better.
Tears when all I wanted was to be anywhere else but the World Race.
Smiles when I am up at 1 am laughing with the girls in my room.
Tears when all I want is good American food.
Smiles when I get to do and see so many crazy things in this world.
Tears when I felt like no one here got me like me friends back home.
Smiles when I realized I have made friends I will have for the rest of my life.
Tears when you missed a major event or holiday that you would have been at.
Smiles when you realize that you have celebrated holidays like nobody else ever has.
I have started to realize something about myself over the past few weeks….I am an escaper.
I would much rather escape from what is causing the tears and run full speed to what will bring the smile.
When things get hard or I get excited for what is next I find myself longing for the next phase of life to hurry up and get here.
Things get tough, times get hard and I don't like where I am anymore and my defense mechanism is to escape. Pack the essentials, run as fast as I can and hop the fence to where that greener grass lies.
I can pack up and escape to another phase of life, destination or group of people but sooner or later the things that I once fled from before will come up in this new setting just simply in different ways.
What does it look like to face the things that bring the tears?
That thing that seems too big, too scary, too hard or maybe even too un-fun and learn from it instead of run from it?
What does it look like to be content with the current adventure instead of always living for the next one?
I am a huge dreamer and very much a gypsy heart. I love change, challenge, travel and have no desire to live a normal life. I love adventure, being on the go and having lots of fun in life.
These are all things that I love about myself, but a trend I have noticed in myself is that sometimes in the midst of one adventure I check out and start focusing on the next adventure.
There are two reasons for me focusing on the next adventure….
1. The current adventure has become hard and I would rather just be somewhere else.
2. I get so excited for what the next adventure holds that I just want to hurry up and get to it.
I start to think about how the things I don't like about the current adventure will be better in the next adventure.
I think of all of the things I don't have on this adventure that I will have on the next adventure.
How the problems I have on this one won't exist in the next.
Well I am tired of missing out on the current adventure by escaping to the next adventure.
There is always going to be a next adventure in my life so I want to start practicing embracing the lessons, challenges, fun and good times that each adventure brings. Because I know that any adventure I take is going to have ups and downs, pros and cons and there is always going to be something that I could have done better.
What if I embraced the pros and cons, the ups and the downs and take the things that I could have done better and apply those to the next adventure(because there will be more) instead of dwelling on all of the would have should have could have's.
I hate to break it to you, but the grass ISN'T greener on the other side!
It is different on the other side….but different grass comes with different good times, different bad times, different ups and downs and different pros and cons.
It is different grass, but it is still made up of the same things.
I am done escaping and running from the hard stuff and I am done missing out on current good stuff by focusing on the good stuff that is to come.
I want to learn from the hard stuff and become a better person because of it.
I want to enjoy the good things that I will never get back.
The next adventure will come and I will enjoy it then and that frees me up to enjoy the adventure I am on now.
For the next 3 months I will…
Embrace my shower shoes.
Embrace being surrounded by people(always).
Embrace my backpack.
Embrace the breakdowns I have with God.
Embrace the breakthrough that comes from the breakdown.
Embrace seeing my mom at parent week.
Embrace seeing my dad and brother at our layover in Atlanta.
I will embrace the next 3 months and the tears and smiles that they bring.
One day very soon they will just be a memory.
I will live and love these next three months that I will never get back.
With every adventure comes it's very own set of tears and smiles.
I am going to start embracing the tears and smiles that my current adventure hold and when my next adventure comes I will embrace the new set of tears and smiles that come with it.
