Why? That's the question I seem to be getting a lot these days.
I would say most of my friends and family are supportive of this exciting new season that the Lord is leading me into. However, there are some that don't quite understand WHY I want to leave everything behind.
Okay, to explain a little more I should let you know that I did it right. And by it, I mean this whole American dream thing. See, I went to college right after high school. I worked through school and was involved in enough activities to make my resume look good. I had good grades all throughout college. I was even lucky enough to have an international experience right before I graduated. Then right after I graduated, I was blessed enough to be given an awesome job opportunity. It's a job that will give me great experience in my field and allows me to work with children of all ages (I mean, that was always MY plan, right?).
So why would I want to go now? Why, when I have a good job that I love so much (you know… the job market IS tough) would I choose to leave it behind? Why not wait until… (fill-in-the-blank with whatever well-meaning question fits)
Well I have to be honest with you, every single question that my friends and family have asked me has gone through my mind at some point. These questions were all racing through my mind last weekend, to the point where it was so overwhelming that I wanted to cry. Then my best friend asked me if I wanted to go to Vespers, which is an hour of worship. I decided that it would be a good chance for me to take my mind off of the constant thoughts rolling around and just take time to be in the Lord's presence.
I can honestly say that it was one of the best nights of worship I have ever had. One song we sang that night really spoke me:
"Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and SET ME FREE
I am Yours, I am forever Yours."
Those lyrics rang so sweetly in my ear and the Lord showed me two promises in that chorus.
First of all Love has set me free. But the sweetest thing is, that means freedom from everything.
Freedom from performance
freedom from expectations
freedom from striving for the American dream
FREEDOM from EVERYTHING that has ever held me captive.
SO COOL!
The second part was in essence the answer (one of many, I presume) to all of the WHY questions:
I am Yours, I am forever Yours.
Ah… yes! I am His. In the midst of all these questions, I need to take a step back and rest in the promise that I am His. I am satisfied enough in that fact to know that I will not always have the answers. See I am letting go of the plans that I have always had for my life in order to cling to something that is so much sweeter. The Lord has claimed me as His own and given me a taste of freedom that I never could have obtained on my own.
So why not take this freedom He has given me and bring it to the nations? There are days when it is so hard to think of leaving my family, friends, and this life of comfort for 11 months. But whenever doubts creep into my mind, the Lord sweetly reminds me that I am His.
There are so many of His children that have yet to hear His name, and He loves me enough to ask me to go be a part of that. To hold the hand of precious widows. To play in the streets with orphan children. To speak love, hope, and freedom into lives of hurting and broken people.
So it may not be the answer people desire to hear from me when they are spouting off their many questions. But for now, I believe the answer the Lord has given me is “Why not?” I am His, and I want to spend my life proclaiming that truth wherever He calls me to be.
