"You're so brave." I think that is the saying I hear most often these days.
Can I tell you a secret? I'm not really sure I'm as brave as everybody thinks. See in the past few weeks I've experienced the full scale of emotions, on a daily basis. I've cried for the past three weeks at church. If I am watching TV or a movie, I will cry at the slightest hint of sentiment (this does not exclude commercials). A few days ago I was shopping at Walmart and I started tearing up.
The weight of this decision I've made is starting to set in and I'm scared.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to set out on this journey called the World Race. But I would be lying if I said there's not any anxiousness.
I want to take you back a little bit to when I first heard about mission trips, or at least truly comprehended what people were doing when they decided to go. I was a freshman in college sitting in a weekly meeting for an organization called CRU. There were five or six people standing at the front of the room talking about different mission trips they had gone on throughout the summer, some in the U.S., some overseas.
As they spoke something deep inside tugged at my heart. Then I remember thinking "That sounds amazing, but there's no way I could ever do something like that." Looking back now, I should have known that God had something crazy planned for me, but I can be so naive and SO stubborn sometimes. But now I know the Lord was there, laughing to Himself and saying "Just you wait my precious daughter."
Flash forward to the present, and here I sit getting ready to leave in less than two weeks for my third mission trip. Yes, I am so excited but it is also just as hard to leave this time as it was for the first time.
See just five years ago I believed that I wasn't brave enough, strong enough, good enough, etc. (Fill in the blank with your favorite excuse) to be a missionary. And guess what? I'm still none of those things, but He IS!
One of my favorite things that my pastor says often is that all God needs is willing people. And honestly that's all I am. I am willing to listen to our Heavenly Father. I'm willing to follow where He leads, even when it's scary. And I'm willing to depend on Him for the strength and courage I will need to make it through these 11 months.
What about you? Are you willing to follow where He leads… No matter what that means?
