How many of us ever feel like we have it all together? I’m beginning to think God likes it when our lives are a mess, a wonderful mess, because then we’re fully counting on him, instead of our own abilities. He likes to convict us of things, which if changed, would totally transform our lives. When we’re in ‘control’ life may not always seem messy (or maybe even messier), but we’re missing the trust, joy, and knowledge that comes with letting God control our lives. When we truly let God have control, our lives do become messy, because they’re different, they’re convicting, and they’re counter cultural. They’re wonderful messes’ that only God can fill, sustain, work through, and make whole.
So I leave for 11 months in 94 days, and that’s kinda scary/exciting/and all the feels. 11 months is a long time, it’s basically a year, and a whole LOT happens in a year. I go through waves of feeling freaked out and comforted. I know that if I was doing this on my own, I wouldn’t have the strength. I mean, going to see 11 different countries is crazy, and I’m so blessed but, it’s also challenging and going to be really exhausting, trying, and emotionally draining but, most importantly rewarding, because God is going to bless it!
If God wasn’t calling me to it, I wouldn’t be going. I feel like a mess at times, but a wonderful mess. Lately, I’ve been having to combat thoughts of what I’m ‘giving up’ and how I’m going to be uncomfortable. It’s been a struggle, cause I know what God has told me, but it’s so easy to get ‘comfortable’ in my current life, doing things ‘my way’. The World Race is gonna be doing life for 11 months God’s way, and that’s gonna be the best.
I’m stoked to be following Christ and giving up these 11 months to serve him in this call, trying to show others the love of our savior, while learning a whole lot about God, life, love, people, and poverty in the process.
For the longest time I didn’t understand why other people didn’t want to stop what they were doing, and live for Christ wholeheartedly imitating him, by doing something like this. But, I’ve had to realize that this type of trip and lifestyle change (for the year) isn’t what God has called everyone too. I know some people are called to be missionaries in their own neighborhoods, schools, and families. But, I know God has called me to be a missionary around the globe to teach me, stretch me, and grow me, for what else he has planned. He’s planted a seed in my heart from long ago, and I think this is a step in obedience to live a messy life, to live radically.
I think life’s a mess cause were never gonna have it figured out. We’re never gonna be all together and totally comfortable, but thats the cool part. We get to live out our uncomfortable life in the knowledge that it’s all worth it in the end. In the knowledge that God’s in control and if we’re for him, NO ONE can be against us. So even though at times my life has felt like a mess, I know he’s controlling it. I want him to make a mess of me, to make me more than I could ever make myself. I want him to make this next year, the messiest, most wonderful year of my life and I can’t wait to see what he does!
