I discovered a new kind of goodbye over the last few days that wrecked my heart. This kind of goodbye is not, “I’ll see you later� or even, “Be back in eleven months!� This kind of goodbye hits at the most unexpected moments in a way that knocks the breath out of you. This kind of goodbye has no guarantee of a future reunion.
Or does it?
Through tearful embraces, emotion-filled prayers, and parting words of encouragement and hope, God has shown me a truth so beautiful that the tropical beaches here at La Libertad (El Salvador, our weekend destination between ministries) pale in comparison. This is not goodbye.
This is hello. For eternity.
Our friend Bin-jamin was the first goodbye. He was able to take a few hours off work to come to the house and spend time with us on Thursday morning, our last day in Guatemala. As we sat and talked, tears filled his eyes and ours in turn. “It’s so humid!� he joked. “My eyes are sweating!� I was completely blown away by the love and humility that radiates from this man, who I am so grateful and proud to call my brother. As we locked arms in a circle to pray before parting, I found my heart throbbing with a combination of pain and joy I have never experienced before. My gratitude to have met this man and spent time getting to know him was immense. My sadness in saying goodbye was mingled with overwhelming regret that we did not have more time to spend with him and get to know him better. And then it hit me.
I have eternity to spend with my brother. I have eternity to get to know him better!
All of us with Bin-jamin on our last day
Saying goodbye to Pastor Roni broke my heart all over again. This man has the softest heart and deepest compassion I have ever seen. He is a man of faith, not just in word but in the way he lives! He trusts God for everything – to provide for his wife and two kids, to grow his little congregation, to use the time he gives day by day visiting the least of these in Puerto Barrios. We spent one short month with him ministering in the hospital and orphanage and bars and dump – he spends his life in those places. His faithfulness blows my mind. What amazes me still more is his ability to communicate his conviction in broken English. He overflows with stories of God’s goodness and faithfulness, and is willing to push through the language barrier and tirelessly practice his English in order to communicate those things to us. I could listen to him talk all day.
And in the future, I will! Because we will have forever, quite literally, to tell those stories.
Pastor Roni with kids at the orphanage
Andrea and I played guitar together one last time on Thursday night. A couple weeks ago she taught me a beautiful song in Spanish, Solo Por Ti. In return, I taught her You Won’t Relent. As dusk fell on our last evening in Guatemala, we joined our voices in worship. Others from our teams, as well as the YWAM team that was also staying with us the last couple days, gathered in the front lawn as well, worshipping, dancing, praying to the Father who brings us all together as one. Our time in Guatemala ended as it began – worshipping our beautiful Lord! I will so miss my Guatemalan sister. She exudes joy in her every smile and movement. Her laughter is infectious, as is her heart of worship.
One day, we will dance and sing together in a place where the sun will never set.
Andrea and I playing guitar at the beach
Kevin rode with us all the way to La Libertad on the mini-bus – servant-hearted to the last moment as he helped us cross the border and navigate to the hostel. This guy has made me laugh and feel at home more times than I can count during our month in Guatemala. I still can’t get used to the fact that I’m in Central America surrounded by Spanish speakers, and I don’t have Kevin to ask, “What does chilero mean?â€� Or “Como sé dice…?â€� (“How do you say…?â€�). Hearing him say “Jillyfishâ€� for the last time and hug me tight ripped my heart apart yet again.
So when I get to heaven, spotting that dark curly head and listening for my nickname is gonna be at the top of my agenda 🙂
Kevin playing for the kids at church
To all my family in Guatemala: this is not goodbye! I will see you all again, even if not in Guatemala or the US. And I cannot wait for karaoke and tostadas and worship and stories of our amazing God in a place where there are no more goodbyes and no more tears! I love you all!
