Hello everyone!!
It has now been about two months since I have been back home from my race.
WE DID IT!! PRAISE THE LORD, WE COMPLETED THIS WORLD RACE!!
I am very thankful to God that I am now home, and that He gave me the strength to complete this wonderful journey. And now being home, I believe that is a new journey that God has me in. I am still learning a lot, I am continuing to learn how to trust God more, as the next steps on my journey, only He knows.
Coming home for me, was honestly really, really hard. I thought I was mentally, and emotionally prepared for what home was going to look like, and be like. I was looking forward to coming to my family, church, and friends, and I thought I was just going to get back to “normal” in no time. My alumni squad leaders, mentors, and coaches did all possible to try to prepare us, since they knew that the process of reentry back to the States was going to be hard. They did a great job, by sharing their personal stories and struggles and being very vulnerable and open with us. And well, as I stated already, I though that I was ready!
Little did I know… I WAS NOT READY! Coming home for me was really hard! First of all, I came back home super exhausted after traveling for like 40 hours, and I was jet lagged, and the first couple of days, I truly didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be alone and process my life on the last 11 months. And I didn’t get a chance to do that, since everyone that I knew wanted to see me, and hear about my race, about my experiences, and somehow I just was not prepared for all the questions. And the main question that everyone had, which was the one that I had no idea how to answer was:
SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?
Yes, that was the question of the year for me! and I just didn’t know how to answer that! And I just felt LOST! And being lost is a feeling that I wasn’t very comfortable with or even familiar with, since I’ve always been a person that has it together! The older sister, the one who has a plan for her life! Or so I thought! And that feeling of being lost became a frustration, and because of this frustration I ended up shutting down, which is something that struggled with over this past month.
Last week, I was blessed to go to Project Search Light in the AIM base of Gainsville, GA. This was a time that I had the opportunity to reunite with my squad mates and with other squads and just being around other people that I felt that truly understood me, and probably have been going through what I had been going through as well.
When I fist got there, I went with so much burdens in my heart, so much heaviness because of this feeling of being lost that I had. And I told God, Lord I just want to have my heart open to you and hear from you, I don’t want to be a person who is frustrated or who shuts down. I want to be able to share about this amazing journey that you took me on in a free way!
And little did I know, the Lord had something so amazing to show me that week! Sometime during the middle of the week, God gave me a vision! He showed me the picture of a COMPASS! And on this compass, He was in the middle of it. He TOLD ME THAT I WAS NOT LOST, AND THAT HE IS MY COMPASS. He is the one guiding me wherever He wants to guide me!! Whether that is North, South, East, or West, He is the one in control, He is the one showing me where to go!
This may sound cliche to some of you; however, this was a realization that God needed to show me, specifically just for me! And that was amazing, and I just felt His peace coming completely over me, and all the burdens were ALL gone! And once again, I was remind that my life is in His hands!
A day after that, I felt at peace with some other decisions regarding my future, which I truly needed to feel and hear from the Lord.
Realizing that God is my compass game a peace of mind that I needed. I now more than ever feel more at peace and I felt like I have confirmation from the Lord to answer the call for my life. As I’ve shared it before, I feel led to continue on doing missions, and grow in my leadership skills to be able to do long term missions. And I believe that God is calling me to a discipleship program that will guide me into the next steps of my life and continue on my journey with God as a missionary.
I don’t have all the answers yet, but I TRUST that GOD will guide those steps in His time, since He is the compass of my life!
I will keep you all posted, when God says GO once again! And in the meantime, I plan on seeking God more, serving Him here at home, and being the free and joyful Jhacky that I was while on my race.
I love you all and thank you for all the support you all gave me through this amazing journey!
GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!
