We went undercover.
Under the cover of night. Under the cover of some friends breaking Ramadan fasts.
We went undercover so that two or more could gather in the name of Jesus in a place where Christians are very much the minority and evangelizing can carry a five-year jail sentence.
We went undercover and shared our praises and prayer requests, and we prayed for each one. We sat and listened for hours as a room full of believers dissected the intricacies of Cain and Abel in their own language. We enjoyed fellowship, sitting on the floor mats with our coffee and tea and fried tofu. We rolled up the mats, turned off the lights, and locked the garage door behind us as we said goodbye.
We went undercover for a night. They go undercover every day. With their cab drivers. With their co-workers. With their neighbors, their families, their friends. They’ve decided it’s worth it. Jesus is worth it.
The following night at a different community group meeting, our team was asked if one of us could share a short testimony of our last 11 months. Before I could stop myself, I said I had something to share (and immediately felt my heart start racing as I turned to my teamie and told her that was Holy Spirit talking because yikes, no me gusta sharing in front of groups of people, especially when I don’t know it’s coming).
I told the group that as I reflect on the last 11 months – on the adventures, living situations, ministries, teams, etc. – 3 things continue to stand out to me:
Community – Heartache – Kingdom
Community. Community within squad, community within teams, community with our local ministries, long-distance community with loves back home, temporary community with our hosts – it’s everywhere and it’s always. Living in constant community has been one of the hardest, sweetest, most fun and frustrating and sanctifying things I have ever done. We get to learn from each other, share wild experiences together, hold one another accountable, and simply be present for the hard things. Sometimes we stay up all night talking and laughing, sometimes we let exhaustion get the best of us and treat each other poorly. We show each other the love of Christ, and we apologize when we fall short. We forgive each other.
Heartache. I’ve been writing about the presence of heartache since before I even left for the race. It’s present at home, it’s present in every country I’ve been to, it’s present in every part of the world. It makes me mad. It makes me cry. It makes me really grateful for the enduring hope we have in Jesus. Sometimes I feel numb to it and sometimes I have a hard time feeling anything other than the weight of the heartache I see all around me and experience within me. We live in a fallen world. There’s heartache. And there’s ownership for us to take over it.
Kingdom. We get to witness the kingdom of God here on earth, and it’s because of groups like the ones I’ve described above. It’s because of believers beside us and all around the world who have decided that Jesus is worth it – every sacrifice, every undercover moment, every minute away from their loved ones, every push into discomfort and abandonment, every risk that requires supernatural provision, every act of obedience that goes against fleshly desires. It’s because God sends us people every month who encourage and motivate us to stay faithful in living the Great Commission by revealing to us the fruits of believers who have come before us. It’s because all around the world, even in the 10/40 window, we have witnessed glimpses of Revelation 7:9 coming to fruition. It’s because the Lord’s sovereignty is undeniable; his protection, his provision, his healing power, the way he makes everything work together for his good…it’s everywhere, and we are invited to be part of it.
I come home soon. I return to a place where small groups can happen during any time of day, discussions about scripture happen in a language I understand, and most of my loved ones are maybe a timezone away. I return to a lot of things I abandoned to come on the race. But coming on the race, I traded a lot of material comforts for things that could never fit in a backpack.
Healing
Personal friendships with brothers and sisters in Christ all around the world
Courage to ask God hard questions
Gentleness + boldness
Discipline + obedience
Learning to trust God with people I love
Greater awareness of personal pain-points and sin struggles
Confidence in Holy Spirit living in me
K-squad
Evidence that God is moving all around the world
Motivation to tell people about it
He’s given me abundance. But even if he didn’t, it would be worth it.
Jesus is always worth it.
