Goodbyes are hard. They hurt. They seem to come far too often with far too little time in between. They sometimes come with a sense of finality that our hearts are just not ready for.
Goodbyes are often necessary. Necessary to move on to new seasons. Necessary to leave behind toxicity. Necessary to follow Jesus’ lead.
Goodbyes are hard and they are often necessary and they are part of the life God calls us to.
I struggle with goodbyes. Like, a lot. In the moment, I can kind of smile and say, “see you later!” and pretend like I’m fine. But in the days – sometimes months – leading up to the goodbyes, I am very much not fine. I don’t like them. They hurt too much.
I have been learning a lot about goodbyes in the months leading up to the World Race. Well, more about the act of abandonment than the goodbye itself. For a long time, I was convinced that abandonment is inherently wrong. In my mind, it just isn’t supposed to happen; loved ones should not leave their loved ones, ever.
Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:25-27
I’ve been learning that Jesus wants us to do the hard things to follow him. He wants us to love and follow him wholeheartedly. He wants us to be willing to leave behind our comforts and our people to be with him. He also wants to help us. Jesus recognizes that it’s hard. He knows the pain of bearing a literal cross, and he compares that weight to the weight of abandonment. And he wants to help us carry it. He wants us to find rest in him.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus traveled a lot. He brought some people with him, but he also left some behind. Not because it was easy but because he was obeying his Father, whom he rested in constantly. He trusted his Father, and he knew that his Father would take care of his people. He also knew that his Father would take care of him; he would take care of his heart. And so, his greatest act of love was abandonment. He abandoned his life on earth. He died, he rose, and he left this world, his people, to be with his Father in heaven. But he didn’t leave us empty-handed. He left us with the choice of salvation. He left us with Holy Spirit. He left us with a mission. He left us with his example to follow. He left us with each other. Ultimately, Jesus left us – his loved ones – knowing that we are loved.
I want to be like Jesus.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. John 15:9-17
