Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5
When Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.” Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.” The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed.” Matthew 8:5-8
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:13-16
I know God can heal, and I know he does heal, but he probably won’t heal me.
For those of you who were not aware, I had a mountain of food allergies (gluten, soy, lactose, shellfish, tree nuts, apples, watermelon, avocados, plums, quinoa…). For those of you haven’t heard, God healed me of my mountain of food allergies!
One evening, I ate a few bites of food that contained soy sauce before remembering that earlier in the day, I had watched our cook pour soy sauce in the pan. Soon after, I began to feel the effects of soy, and I was essentially in bed for the next two days.
The following week, my wrist was hurting, and I was rotating it in the dinner line. Brent, a staff member at the YWAM base, noticed and asked if he could pray healing over it after dinner. After we washed our dishes, he put frankincense on my forehead, and he and my team surrounded me to pray for my wrist. In passing, my squad leader Katie suggested that they pray healing over my allergies as well.
They laid hands on me, prayed over me, and thanked God for being the miraculous healer that he is. When they finished, my wrist still hurt, and we continued with our night.
The next morning, I sat with the Lord and talked with him about healing. I told him that I believe he is good and has healing power. I know he can heal and he does heal, and he has divine purpose in his decision to heal or not heal. I promised to believe and trust and declare his goodness, whether he chooses to heal me or not. I told him I wanted to try different foods again, but I was scared. I asked him to make it clear to me early on if he didn’t want me to.
We had ministry at an after-school program that afternoon, and a couple of the volunteers brought homemade donuts; thus, began my adventure of re-trying foods I have not been able to eat.
Over the next several days:
I ate a donut. Nothing happened.
I ate an apple. Nothing happened.
I ate noodles with soy sauce. Nothing happened.
I ate peanut butter. Nothing happened.
I drank almond milk. Nothing happened.
I ate guacamole. Nothing happened.
The process was quite anticlimactic, and I was so anxious. Every time I was faced with an allergen, I remembered the reactions I typically experienced, and I got scared. However, my teammates continued to encourage me, and their faith and joy in God’s healing power motivated me to trust him as well.
I found myself fearful that Father changed his mind or only wanted to heal me for one meal or one day. I thought that maybe he only wanted to heal me of one allergen, or maybe I just didn’t experience as strong a reaction as is normal. Maybe one allergen just faded away, and the rest remained.
I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that God wanted to heal me and wanted to heal me completely.
I couldn’t understand why he would heal me and not my super faithful, Spirit-driven teammate who battles a disorder that causes her daily physical pain.
I couldn’t accept that he delighted in choosing me as a recipient of his healing power.
But Father did want to heal me, and he did heal me, and he delighted in doing so. And even though I struggled to find the faith within myself to believe and walk in this healing, he surrounded me with incredible women who linked arms with me and walked alongside me and helped me to believe.
He’s in the process of helping me reach the root of my disbelief, but I’m constantly reminded that, even when I don’t understand, I can walk in the freedom of his grace. I can live in his abundant love. I can taste and see that the Lord is good. I can celebrate and thank him for all that he has done and all that he is doing and all that he has yet to do.
Abba has crowned me with love and compassion.
Yeshuah Hamashiach promises healing.
The healing power of Ruach Hakodesh resides in us.
Yahweh is good. He is powerful. He is present. He is love. And his love is worth celebrating and trusting always, regardless of my inability to comprehend it.
