Put “Must See Andes Mountains” on your list of things to do before you die. This month makes a total of 21 countries I have visited, and the drive we took from Chile to Argentina was one of the most breathe taking things I’ve ever experienced. But the thing that filled my heart the most, that brought tears to my eyes, was the stars. Hundreds of them! It had been months since I saw the stars. Sunsets, stars, and the water are what make me most nostalgic for home. One of my favorite thing to do as a kid was to lay in the backyard at night, in the darkness of the country, and look up at the stars. The city lights or pollution in the cities we’ve lived in since being overseas block out the stars almost completely and even small glimpses have been rare. I have cried from homesickness several times since leaving but as I soaked in the sight of those stars I cried for a whole different reason… I am going home!
I usually hate being cold! I am certainly a summer girl through and through; the beach, growing up at the water and moving there as an adult, born in the summer, and even choosing a job that let’s me have liberty during my favorite season. I love hiking in the mountains and seeing them for a brief time, but they are typically not my first choice because it’s almost always to cold. But the Lord seems to take the things we love and changes them, flips them so that our desires change, usually without us even giving thought to it. So many of my desires have changed this year. Some I have realized and some still maybe yet to be discovered.
A few may be aware that my plan when leaving on the Race was to pack-up everything I own and prepare it to move to Florida. It was a solid, thought out plan. My family lives there for large parts of the year. I had quit my job so I had few ties, the lease for the house I lived in was squared away and personally I was fine with never facing another Virginia winter. So I drove my car down and left a majority of my clothes in the state I would call home when I was back in the US. But things didn’t seem final when I left. My plan and what I thought the Lord was calling me to since I was barely a teenager was to live overseas and do mission work full time. It’s one of the reasons I chose the career I did, it dictated how I conserved finances, almost every major decision I made was in preparation for eventually making a life somewhere else. Then I left for a year with a prayer for discernment and guidance in the direction the Lord had for me when I got home. All the while with this idea that I knew where I would home base. It’s funny to look back over the last eight months and see the clues the Lord dropped for me.
– Month one we had ministry in a shipping yard.
– Month two we were by the beach and worked with a church that was in deep need of discipleship, something near and dear to my heart.
– Month three I was reminded what a huge passion teaching was; educationally yes, but also Biblically.
– Month four a dear friend and I mutually prayed through the fact that familiar could still be growing and glorifying.
– Month five we lived beside waterfront that looked just like Waters?ide District.
The Lord was working on my heart. He changed my idea of what it looked like to do ministry and be in full time ministry. He stirred my heart for the support and edification of full time missionaries whether Americans or international locals. He showed me the importance of consistency and how a passion for missions is just as crucial at home to mobilize, advocate and support those on the Kingdom frontlines. The Lord was working on my heart personally, professionally and spiritually, directing me back to where I had come from.
– Month six I was buying a fun surprise to tell my roommate that I was moving to Virginia when I got home.
– Month seven I got to serve training and supporting teachers, which I can firmly say is now one of my personal and professional goals and something I hope to really press into when I return to teaching. So I officially told my family and a few friends I’d be staying in Virginia.
As we drove through the mountains under a starry sky, I cried. Thinking of home, thinking of the Lord’s faithfulness, thinking of how gracious He was in His clarity and direction. Thanking Him for giving me the opportunity to fulfill my dream of living overseas as a missionary and, surprisingly, mostly thanking Him that I get to go home. To those of you reading this from Hampton Roads, you most likely notice several parallels from my list above. It’s funny to look back on this list now and think how obviously things fell into place, but walking through circumstances never feels the same in the middle of it as looking back. Virginia is where my heart is and where I feel the Lord is calling me. Even now we are living and working in Argentina and have a lot of mixed feelings as we approach our final 100 days on the field. We flew into South America and it was COLD! Our first night was about 40 degrees with no heat and although it may not sound to bad, remember we were coming from places over the last seven months where 90 felt cool. But shockingly, I loved it! I’ve never said I liked cold weather in my life! I loved snuggling in the blankets, I loved jumping in an out of bed as I packed my stuff. I have loved looking for warm sunshine as we walk to Wi-Fi this month. I’ve loved clinging to my warm cups of coffee and actually having to wear socks. It reminds me of home and although it is weird to have what would be November weather at home in August, it reminds me it’s okay to dream about going home but to be present here. The Lord has given me something almost every month that reminds me of home so even though homesickness has become fairly constant the longer I am away, it is also humbling to realize just how small the world actually seems and how we have authority over our expectations and our attitudes. Circumstance are what we make them and if we allow, the Lord’s plan is so much bigger than we can imagine or dream. I love to dream and I am learning to see the little things in front of me as a dream come true. Whether that be to live overseas, encourage someone in the love of Christ or to drive through the cold mountains under a sky full of stars.
“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky… and through your offspring all the nations on earth will be blessed.” Genesis 22 : 17a & 18a
