Zayin
seventh letter of the Hebrew alphabet; representing the reflection or returning of the vav, the straight light from God to man. The word is used to mean ‘sword’ or ‘weapon’ and derives from a root word that means ‘sustenance’ or ‘nourishment’.
“The sword of war is often needed for our nourishment, not in the sense of vindictive fighting that is based on lust or [greed], but in the spiritual sense that in order to be nourished and at rest we must sometimes engage in warfare.” [1]
To be nourished spiritually is to engage in battle. Recently I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this. I’ve realized throughout my journey on the race that sometimes engaging in warfare isn’t as easy as I once thought it was. Sometimes I look around and I can’t see the next move. Sometimes the enemy’s attack catches me off guard. Even when I deliberately enter the battle, the severity of the darkness can leave me feeling defeated. And it’s in these moments where I let myself slink away, discouraged and weary and restless.
It is essential in these moments to cling to the word of God out of obedience. It’s essential to not give up the fight because of emotions but to engage even more because God asks us to. I learned this lesson the other day.
Horns were honking, people were shouting, tourists were bustling all around. Thamel, the tourist district of Kathmandu, has proved to be one of the loudest and busiest places I’ve been to yet. Sensory overload. It’s nearly impossible to keep a conversation with anybody as you make your way through the streets, stepping over famished and sleeping dogs, politely refusing taxi drivers, dodging motos and cars, and trying not to trip over the uneven and broken road. It feels more like an obstacle course than a city street.
We’ve been on debrief in Thamel for the past few days. Debrief is the time of month that we have to kick it into full squad-leader gear. Our coaches and mentors fly in from the states and we gather the entire squad together for a week of rest, worship, healing and processing. We plan schedules, sessions, conversations, and activities for the squad to ensure that everyone is in the best possible place for the next step in our journey. For most of the squad, it’s a time of rest, for us, it’s…busy.
The other afternoon, Cam and I found ourselves with a little bit of free time between sessions. We were trying to make our way around to some shops for some last minute souvenir hunting. I was feeling distracted as my mind was flooding with things we still had yet to do in the next couple days.
Suddenly, we were interrupted by a local Nepali girl.
“Mam!! Hi! You want henna?” her tone making the question sound more like a statement.
“No thanks!” I smiled politely and kept walking.
“Oh wow! You are very nice!” She called out from behind us. “You look so young! How old are you?”
“23!” We chimed in unison as I turned back around. The smile that had spread across her face instantly cut through my ignorance as conviction flooded my cold heart.
“Oh, both 23! I give to you for free,” she grabbed my hand. “Small flower, okay? For free.”
The last thing I want is smelly and sticky henna on my hand.
I stopped myself. I quickly realized this wasn’t about me, or a silly design she would draw on my hand. Jesus not my will, but Yours be done, I prayed.
Give her your hand, touch her, for me. I was prompted.
“Okay of course! Thank you so much,” I smiled. “How old are you and what is your name?”
“I am 16 years old. My name is Bika,” she replied as she effortlessly made her design on the top of my hand.
“You are very beautiful! And you are a wonderful artist..how long have you been doing this?” We continued to chat as she worked away at the design.
“How do you spell your name?” She asked.
“J-e-s-s-i-e….” I bit my tongue and tried not to break out in laughter as she scribbled my name across my hand in big letters. “Wowww! You’re so good!! Thank you Bika!!” She smiled radiantly.
She gave me her phone number and told me to contact her the next time I wanted a design. I took it, but with other intentions. The Bindi mark on her head (red powder that Hindi women apply to their forehead when they visit the temple) had stirred something inside of me and I knew that the Lord was asking me to share with her.
Thankfully there was a book store nearby. Thankfully, there was one Holy Bible waiting for me to purchase. Thankfully, Bika was still walking up and down the same street trying to catch passerby’s attention. I gave her the book and shared with her why I wanted her to have it. She smiled sweetly and thanked me. I thanked Jesus and prayed for her as we parted ways.
I share this story because I wonder how many opportunities like this I have completely missed because I’ve chosen to disengage in battle. As I walked away praying for Bika, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord had opened my eyes and called me to obedience that day.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
1 Peter 5:8-10
As I enter in to the last three months of the world race, I recognize that this is still just the beginning of my journey. I pray for steadfast obedience, so that I won’t lose focus in the battle. I will rest in the fact that the more I choose to battle, the more I receive the nourishment and strength that I need. Every person is worth it, and I refuse to let the enemy’s scheme keep any of us from reaching even one human life.
“How can you carry a burden for the world unless you first carry the burden for the value of every human life?” – Ravi Zacharias
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