Our God is faithful and our God is kind. And, here’s how I’ve experienced his goodness, his mercy, and his faithfulness in the last week (kind of the last 2 years actually).
The summer after I graduated, I moved to Southport. It was just my landing spot while I tried to find a way to move back to Wilmington. I didn’t ever plan to stay for two years, but now I am glad that I did.
The first time I went to Generations Church, I met the man I would date for almost the next year. He was leaving in two weeks to go on a mission trip to Peru.
While he was gone, I built him us so high in my mind that when he came back, he could do no wrong in my eyes. I idolized him. And, once he brought up getting married, I couldn’t have been happier.
He asked my dad if he could marry me, and I continued to ignore things that needed to be addressed in our relationship. I wasn’t trusting the Lord to do things His way, and in His time.
As summer got closer, we talked about spending a few weeks in Peru doing mission work together. Sounded like a dream to me- Do mission with the guy I think I’ll marry? Sure!
But then, it all blew up. He realized some things about himself and decided that I wasn’t the woman he wanted to be with. He broke up with me and in the moment, I felt my world crumble around me. I’d loved him the best way a 22 year old girl knew how, and I was left with nothing.
I talked to my parents and my community from Generations. I am so deeply grateful for the way they loved me that night. They fed me, hugged me, met me with truth, and reminded me of everything the Lord has promised us in His Word, all while I cried at a Memorial Day barbecue in the Harden’s driveway.
When I went home and was finally alone, I felt the Lord speak so clearly to my heart, more so than any time in my life until that point. His love rushed over me and reminded me of who I really am- His daughter, His beloved, a co-heir with His son, the one He ransomed, one he delights in. He reminded me that I didn’t need to live like an orphan, working on my own to make my dreams come true, because I have been brought into His family. I am cared for and pursued. And, nothing can replace His love. No one can ever love me the way the Lord loves me. No one can fill these places in my heart except Him.
He also showed me that I had given up my dreams, like going on the World Race, to pursue a life with this man.
But now, here I sit, writing this blog, mentoring my squad mates, and finishing my receipts. Here I sit, as a World Race Squad Leader, in the main plaza in Cusco, Peru. I can see the Cathedrals that my ex-boyfriend sent me a photo of in June 2015.
When I walk around this city, I am filled with gratitude. God, You brought me here. You fulfilled my dreams in a way that was so much better than I could ever imagine.
My prayer is that everyone would understand the identity and love that Christ gives. And that, rather than trying to make your own dreams come true, trust the Lord with them. Lay them at his feet and don’t pick them back up when it’s taking too long or when you don’t like how things are looking. Lay them down and walk in the Freedom that He died to give you. Walk with Him, because it’s a sweet life when you do.
The threshing floors will again be piled high with grain,
and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil.
The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.
It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.
Once again you will have all the food you want,
and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
Then you will know that I am among my people Israel,
that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
The Lord’s Promise of His Spirit
“Then, after doing all those things,
I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will dream dreams,
and your young men will see visions.
In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on servants—men and women alike.
-Joel 2:24-29
