This last month in Bolivia was WILD for so many reasons. It was one of my hardest months due to many things, yet I know I will look back on Bolivia as one of the months where I learned the most. It was hard, yet so good!
First of all, we had long ministry days, and our ministry changed each week. The first week, we worked in a children’s home with disabled kids, the second week, we went to a school and shared testimonies, Bible stories, songs, and games with kids in many classes of all ages, and the last week, we went to a girls home and spent time with teen girls who had come from hard home situations. We had a pretty crazy schedule, and the constant change was a lot to get used to, but I still enjoyed going to each place and getting to have different experiences.
This month was also hard as a squad leader for a lot of reasons that I won’t fully go into, but I was able to learn a lot about my leadership style and my tendencies, and I think some of the challenges were needed for me to grow more fully as a leader. Especially since Bolivia was my last month as a squad leader! I still have a few duties going into month 11, but I pretty much get to be a normal World Racer for the last month. I’m honestly pretty excited, though I am so thankful for the season of squad leading that taught me a lot about my passions, tendencies, and gifts and allowed me the chance to get to know the people on my squad more fully!
But the wildest part of Bolivia? (Besides the amazing Salt Flats of Uyuni….) I read seven books in about three weeks, which was pretty crazy considering I’ve probably read that many books throughout the previous nine months combined, if that. I love to read, but I prefer hardcover books, so the opportunity has not presented itself often to read a lot on the Race. But there was a small library at the YWAM base in Bolivia, so I devoured books, six of them the biographies of missionaries. They were all amazing books, but my absolute favorite was God’s Smuggler by Andrew van der Bijl (the missionary) and John and Elizabeth Sherrill. This book completely blew up my world. Now I have read many Christian living books and even Christian biographies that have changed my perspective, including the amazing book Killing Christians by Tom Doyle (one of my all-time favorites), and at the time I read those, they blew up my world a little bit too. But I think God has just been preparing my heart for a while to read this specific book.
I grew up in a Christian home but struggled for years to really understand any part of my faith. I always wanted to figure it out, but it just didn’t seem to click. However, I always knew if I truly started to follow God, I wanted to go all in. I didn’t want to just go to church and do the right things. I wanted to live a wild and crazy life of faith and actually have the abundant life talked about in John 10:10. I knew about people in the Bible and how much you truly have to give up to follow the Lord but that giving those things up is crazy worth it. Now, that is clearly much easier said than done, and I know I have to grow in so many ways. I know there are still things I need to surrender to the Lord and trust Him in more, but I also know he will get me there. The Christian life really is a life-long journey of growing to look more like Jesus, and sometimes I want to forego God’s perfect timing and be perfect right now (especially as a one on the Enneagram…..). I really wish I just looked exactly like Jesus at age 25, but he clearly has different kinds of growth for me in different seasons.
Reading God’s Smuggler has caused me to think a LOT. Like I said, I’ve read crazy stories about Christians following 110% after God with no distractions or hindrances, but the dude in this book experienced crazy miracles and what I would definitely consider the abundant life. Not in a worldly sense of owning way more stuff than you need, but the close relationship he had with the Lord is WOWZA.
This guy was a missionary in Communist Europe in the 1950s and 1960s, and he would fill his car with hundreds of Bibles and smuggle them illegally across borders all the time without getting caught. He would literally drive up to the border control, pray that God would blind their eyes, let the guards search his car that contained hundreds of Bibles, and he wouldn’t be questioned or stopped. He would be let into the country with hundreds of illegal Bibles and a smile and a wave from the guards. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! THAT IS INCREDIBLE. And not only the Bibles. The amount of times this guy needed a specific amount of money, prayed, waited until the last second possible, and the exact amount of money was provided at the exact instant it was needed? Incredible. And he would pray fervently for something and as he was praying, know his prayer was answered in that moment. And the next day he would ask when the thing he was praying about happened, and it had happened at the exact instant he had known his prayer was answered.
Okay, well I don’t know about you, but I know I want more. This is not at all to say my faith is not enough right now or that I’m not a good enough Christian or am doing something wrong. I know God has me where he has me right now for a reason. I know he will be faithful to finish the work he started in me. I do experience joy and peace in my life. But there’s also SO MUCH MORE joy I could experience and SO MUCH MORE peace and SO MUCH MORE abundant life. Reading this book honestly opened my eyes to see that the Christian life is always about more and more and more and more and more. I’ve known that all along, but I don’t think I realized HOW radical or crazy my life could be if I FULLY trust in God to provide and protect me.
And the theme of every other missionary book I read last month? COMPLETE TRUST IN HIS PROVISION. I read about Gladys Aylward, George Muller, Hudson Taylor, and a couple of missionaries who were taken as hostages in Colombia and Panama, and they all said the same thing. You can never completely trust in God to provide unless you truly give up everything and depend on him fully. In the book about George Muller, there was not a crumb of bread for over 200 orphans to eat breakfast, but he prayed and thanked God for what he was going to provide, and lo and behold, there was a knock on the door. The baker was at the door with a pile of bread feeling confused as to why he was there, but he felt like he was supposed to get up early and bake bread, and there was more than enough for OVER 200 PEOPLE TO EAT. None of these missionaries asked for a cent of money but completely trusted for God to provide, and he did EVERY TIME.
My deepest desire is to live a life for God that is RADICAL and CRAZY and UNEXPLAINABLE. Most of these missionaries were ridiculed by fellow Christians, but they knew they had heard from the Lord and they obeyed. They worked for God and not for man. They lived every second of their life in obedience to God and received a close and personal relationship with Him and life to the full. Their lives were far from easy, yet the joy they experienced was unreal, and the power and bigness of God they were able to see is unfathomable.
How often do we read about Christian heroes and wish we had that kind of faith but never actually pray for it or do anything but let the story slip from our memory and keep going to church without experiencing any joy? “Well that’s nice they lived such great lives, but I could never have faith like that.”
THAT’S A LIE. ASK FOR IT. Ask God every day to increase your faith. Ask him to speak to you clearly. Ask for more of the Holy Spirit. Ask for him to provide. Ask for him to do crazy miracles. Ask for more and more and more and more in your Christian life. He wants us to have life to the full. Life to the full will most likely not look like being super rich or popular, but it will be a life with deep contentment, a closeness to the God of the universe, and a faith so deeply rooted in truth that nothing else will matter anyway!!
No matter how God reveals himself in my life, I will continue to be obedient. Ultimately, we can’t demand miracles from God or demand he show himself to us, yet I truly believe he wants us to ask for those things in faith. Even if he never reveals himself again, I will choose to be obedient because I know the truth of what I’ve believed, but I will also keep asking over and over again for dreams, for miracles, for healing, for more faith, for more of his presence, for crazy provision, and so much more. He is a God who delights in giving his children good gifts, and sometimes it takes eyes of faith to see the purpose in the things that don’t actually look good to you, but I know someday I will more fully understand and see that everything that happens in this life was meant for my good, whether it was growth, more faith, or a newfound empathy for others going through similar difficult situations. All is for his glory.
As C.S. Lewis says in his book The Last Battle, “Come further up, come further in!” There is always more of God to understand and know, and a life of complacency is not the abundant life he has called us to! Seek more! Chase after more! Ask God CONSTANTLY for more! Ask yourself if you are experiencing true joy and contentment in your life no matter what circumstances you are facing, and if you aren’t experiencing those things, ASK HIM.
