As my chilly fingers are poised over my keyboard, ready to share some of my heart and thoughts with you, I realize I don't know where to begin…
This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. feelings of defeat, followed by victories of truth in Christ…the pain of future and present loss, yet the joy of gaining what God has in store…absolute certainty…followed (sometimes in seconds) by waves of questions and doubts…
"You need to prepare for battle…" God wasn't kidding.
One of the concepts or challenges I have been wrestling with and pondering this week is….(drum roll, please…)
Simple, one-syllable word that is integrated into the talk of Christ's followers so often, but I have questioned a lot about it recently…
One aspect of faith that I have been struggling with is this…
So I believe that God can provide financially and materially for this trip–beyond what I believe possible. I know that He is more than able to take care of my friends and family while I'm gone….
And I believe that He has led me to this place (unexpectedly as it was) for a specific reason and purpose…
Yet, this is kinda what some of the conversations with God have started out as lately…
"God, if I would just know…where You are going with this…if I would know where You're taking me…
I know what You CAN do…but what WILL You do…? Where will this faith journey end up?"
One of my favorite quotes right now is by Mr. Oswald Chambers. (does anyone else think he looks a bit like Abraham Lincoln?)
He geniusly (is this a word?) stated:
Here's my take on this quote (as of 9:00 this morning on the way to a breakfast date with a friend…)
THE TRUTH IS…
I don't need to know whether or not God will continue to lead me on this trip. I don't need to know whether or not the money will come in before all my deadlines. I don't need to know if I will be able to make it through this next year. And I don't have to pray, focusing on myself and wondering if I have enough faith to make a difference.
While God cares about these details, they are all circumstantial to Him. He looks past all that to see the condition of my heart. I could go on World Race, being fully funded before I even leave (which would be great evidence of faith, right?)…but it would be worthless if I didn't pursue, and know and love Jesus. And truth is, if I continue to pursue World Race, and God would choose not to provide the money…but I would better love and know Him…it would not be wasted.
Maybe….maybe God wants to know that I will step forward…not because I have faith that He will bring me to a certain destination…but because I love Him, know Him, and want to be with Him… Maybe He wants me to believe in Who He is…rather than where He's taking me…and regardless of whether or not I have enough faith "to get us there…" Maybe in some ways, faith is about…
Relationship not destination.
You don't need to know how this will end…or where you're headed. Follow me because you love Me. Follow Me because you are learning to know me still deeper. Follow me…because I'm walking this direction, and you want to be where I am.
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As I have written this, so many other questions, verses, aspects, quotes about faith have come to my mind. They often "intermingle" and I'm a little frustrated that I can't cover it all. 🙂 If I feel led to do so, I'll write a second (or third) blog on faith, so keep checking back!!
I would welcome any comments, thoughts, verses, questions, or rebuttals! 🙂
What does faith look like in your life? What has God been revealing to you in your journey?
$$ SIDENOTE:
I also want to let you know that I have details about fundraising, donations, etc. under the About tab on the left side of my page. If you feel led to be involved beyond prayer, please check that out and/or contact me personally!! I'd love to talk with you. 🙂
I know that I said previously that my first deadline is September 20, but I found out it is September 27! I definitely still have money to raise, so if you feel led to help, please do so! I am confident God will work in His timing and way.
Wishing you a great day! May you be hungry for faith. 🙂
