I almost ruined my Race.
That “cute little box,� as Lucas called it the other night, almost ruined my Race.
That “cute little box,� has kept me from experiencing freedom.
That “cute little box,� has defined me.
I can do this well … I can’t do this well …
I can try this … I can’t try that …
I am good enough for this … I am not good enough for that …
I deserve this … I don’t deserve that …
It’s actually really annoying when I think of all the restrictions that “cute little box� has placed on me experiencing life on this Race. So many times in life I give up on myself way too soon. I undermine my potential and I accept failure. I have given the enemy too much authority to speak lies into me. He has NO right to steal my identity in Christ. NO RIGHT.
I have to be honest; the enemy convinced me that it was okay if I couldn’t finish the Race. I had done enough in my first four months, and I would do enough in the next two months. Then at the next deadline, I wouldn’t have the funding and could go home. He’s sneaky like that. He doesn’t make me feel defeated; rather he tries to convince me that I am actually this really good person who has done enough. I think he’s intimidated by what the Lord will do with me when I realize and truly start claiming truth over my life. He can’t have that. I am too powerful when I don’t have to fit inside a “cute little box.� I am over it. I want to finish this Race without the box of limitations. I am way too capable of living under the authority of Christ to settle for living inside that “cute little box� of fear.
With that being said, I would like to speak out the lies I have been believing thus far, because there is power in naming things and in releasing them.
I am always going to fail. LIE.
I am not as good as everyone else. LIE.
I don’t deserve to be happy. LIE.
I am not good enough. LIE.
Things can’t change. LIE.
I shouldn’t speak up; no one listens to me anyways. LIE.
The squad doesn’t actually care about me. LIE.
I can’t relate to girls, I shouldn’t even try. LIE.
I don’t know how to build relationships with my squad and/or the people we meet. LIE.
My first four months have been a time of growth, even if I couldn’t see that along the way. I have hit the lowest lows and experienced some serious defeat. I thought I would leave all those insecurities that tied me down back in the States, but that didn’t happen. They came with me. I let them weigh down my already heavy load, and now I would like to go into the next seven months with a little lighter of a load. Those lies and insecurities, I think I will leave them here in the Philippines, in that “cute little box.�
Merry Christmas to me.
Speaking of Christmas … I have until February 1st to be FULLY FUNDED or I will be going home after only 6 months … I can’t even express in words how thankful I am for how dedicated my supporters have been thus far, and I would ask you to please pray about donating to help me raise the final $3800.
To donate, click here.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME TO FINISH MY WORLD RACE!
