I’m not ready … The world outside of Malaysia looks a lot colder, literally and figuratively. We are beginning to approach the cold stretch of our Race, heading into China as part of a five day travel week beginning Friday night and ending upon arrival in Sanmenxia, China. It’s a 24 hour train ride from our final switch point in modes of travel. We will be taking an overnight train to Kuala Lumpur, then spending the day in KL, then spending the night in the KL airport, then flying to Hong Kong, then taking a bus/train at some point in time for who knows how many hours to get to the train station where we will board for our 24 hour train adventure on Monday afternoon around 2PM-ish. Yes, this is by far going to be one of the longest stretches of travel for Y Squad, and my team has one of the shorter train rides. Crazy, I know.
It will be hard physically to travel from 90+ degree summer weather that we’ve grown accustomed to, into 32 degree winter weather that we haven’t seen in a year! But even harder than changing climates, it’s going to be a cold stretch emotionally in my Race. I don’t want to speak that over my last four months, but I have this feeling that the Race gets harder after you find something that you are so passionate about … I know it’s going to be hard when things don’t measure up to what I have fallen in love with here in Malaysia.
I love the people here, I love the contacts here, and I love everything about Malaysia! It is going to be an emotional stretch of travel because it is going to be by far the hardest goodbye yet on the Race. I am going to have so much time to process before we arrive in China, which will be good, but may also make it much harder as well.
I have been sick the past few days — head cold/stomach issues/allergies/fatigue … the works! It has been hard, I haven’t been able to be fully here and I hate having to sleep away the final days here to try and recuperate. I don’t like to think about the transition and the goodbyes, they are too much for me … my heart has finally taken root somewhere, and now part of it will stay here as I finish the final four months and as I see where the future may lead. I’m trusting God to be the ultimate comforter; the master and orchestrator of a plan that I have yet to see.
It’s easy to be excited and expectant for future ministries and opportunities when you feel like things can only get better, it’s not as easy when you think you’ve already found your heart’s calling and your heart’s passion. Then it’s less excitement and more concerns … concern that where you go could never be as amazing as where you have just been, where you go could never be as fulfilling as your month in that most wonderful place … but as hard as it is to say, I have to call that out as a lie. Yes, I love Malaysia. No, I didn’t love Cambodia. Does that mean God showed up less in Cambodia? Does that mean God has better plans for Malaysia? That’s silly. I have to realize that God’s plans are not limited by my desires, and God still has plans for China, Ukraine, ATL, and Romania. They may not match what I want to do or what I love to do, they may not be as “amazing� as Malaysia, but God still has plans to be fulfilled … He didn’t call me on this Race just to discover Malaysia (though that’s definitely a perk and a blessing), He called me to serve in 11 nations in 11 months, because God’s love knows no bounds and God’s love is intended for more than just the places we, in our finite understanding, love. It’s intended for the places God loves … and I’m pretty sure that reaches much farther than my finite understanding will ever be able to grasp.
