The last week or so has been a real struggle for me.
I move home with my family to simply leave again in 7 months?
How do you find a new home church that fits?
Did I miss the mark?
HONESTLY…
It got to the point that I was pondering whether or not I really belonged on this trip or not. Had I just decided to go because it would be "nice" or did I hear God.
Then the Lord stopped me dead in my tracks.
I was faced with a choice. It wasn't anything new or unusual but for some reason or another, this time it knocked me upside the head. Not only would I have opened the door to step back into the pit that the Lord graciously pulled me out of but could have very well eliminated the opportunity for this trip. The Lord has continually spoken one message to my heart on a regular basis when I get into a place of struggle like this and I'd like to share it with you.
The first scripture is found in Genesis 28:10-22. In verses 10-15, we see that Jacob had a dream that was obviously from God. In this dream, a ladder reached from heaven to earth and there were angels ascending and descending. The Lord promised that He would give them the land where they were currently at and promised to keep them and to be with them. In verses 16-19, we see the recognition of the God given dream and the dedication that then took place. In verses 20-22, we see that Jacob made a vow that as long as God provided for him then he would serve God in the designated capacity and would give 10 percent.
Now bear with me and go to Luke 9:62. "But Jesus said to him, "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
Lot's wife became a pillar of salt when she looked back after being told not to. How dare I think that I am in any way an exception to this command to not look back?
Has God ever given you a dream, or revealed to you what your next step is and you throw out the words, "As long as You provide Lord, I will do this", and then stop and question? I know I have…I was just busted doing it again this week!
Then the final verse I'd like to leave you with and we hear it wth our head all the time is Revelation 12:11. "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death."
The challenge I receive every time I hesitate, doubt, or begin to back out of something God has called me to do is this. I know I've heard the Lord, and yet I do not want to be considered unfit for the Kingdom! I have overcome him by the blood and by the testimony but here's the thing I must remember…I cannot love my life more than I love the God of my life. It's in those moments that I begin loving my life more than God where I hesitate and catch myself on the edge of a major fumble when He always reminds me of these truths. I refuse to look back…do you?
