The Penny Mart is the local place to go for groceries in Draganesti, Romania. From the Mission house where my squad stays it is a straight 10 minute walk there down the main street.
Our squad makes this trip daily; usually two or more times in one day to get groceries for the day or supplies like toilet paper, soap, or water. It’s quite the site to see actually: picture a giant group of foreigners entering a store and pushing around shopping carts with more food in it than one family could eat in a week. That’s us.
One particular day after a grocery trip, my team and I were making our way back to our home for the month. I watched as we carry the bags of groceries across the crosswalk and down the street. Two of the girls had bags with needed ingredients for a surprise birthday cake and dinner. I also had a giant bag of cereal in my hands.
As we walk, a younger boy (about 7 or 8) and his brother (about 14) caught up to us. They had just purchased SIM cards for cellphones. They both had dark hair and bright eyes, which seemed to accentuate how skinny they were. I had seen the younger boy throughout our time here several times already.
I know that he was going to ask me for food. This is what he does everytime he sees racers walking down the street. I knew that it was possible that he might just take the bag of cereal out of my hands or grab a loaf of bread out of another bag, which one of the children had already done on a previous trip.
He began to walk next to me. We locked eyes. And then he asked me, just like I knew he would. He held his hand and then moved it toward his mouth and said, “food?”
Here was the moment I’d been dreading on the trip back from the store.
I went through training for this exact situation……..or at least I thought I had, but no one can really ever prepare you for this.
In training we learned that always giving money or food makes people dependent. That dependency can turn into expectation. It’s not always a bad thing but we should teach them how to self-sufficient.
But how exactly do you teach this to a seven year old boy who doesn’t speak the same language and whose family has encouraged this kind of begging?
I look at him and his big eyes.
I want so badly to hand him the entire bag of cereal.
Do I give away my squads food?
This is part of our budget.
Would it really matter that much?
By all means God has abundantly blessed us. We are able to have enough food to feed 38 people three meals a day (plus extras most nights)!!!
In this moment I look at him and then back at the bag. I show him the bag is not open and shake my head no. EVERYTHING INSIDE ME KNOWS I should give him the bag. But I don’t.
The rest of the way home I am fighting with myself.
They are still walking with us, SIM cards in hand. I think to myself, “Well they did buy these for the cellphones. Why didn’t they just buy food instead?” And then an older man meets them on the street. They hand off the SIM cards to him. Apparently they are errand boys.
We keep walking and my soul is still stirring inside.
What would Jesus do?
Well the bible is clear in several scriptures:
*Isaiah 58:7 Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
*Luke 3:11 He answered them, “Whoever has two shirts should share with the person who doesn’t have any. Whoever has food should share it too.”
*Proverbs 22:9 A generous person will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor.
Abba, Your love is not selfish. Yet in that moment I was.
Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
You love to show your mercy, God.
Jesus is the highest example of this mercy.
In Draganesti, Romania God reminded me of His never-ending grace and mercy that He showers everyday.
Every hour.
Not just for you and I but for everyone else too.
The father who struggles with pride, the mother who struggles with addiction, the child who struggles with jealousy.
We all stumble and fall. But God’s grace and mercy is more than enough.
I didn’t do what I felt He was telling me to in that moment.
Grace covers me.
Thank you Abba for your grace.
But more importantly for teaching me what it means to look more and more like you everyday.
Some pics I wanted to share with you all from this past month………
Three of the girls that attended the school we visited. (orange shirt, purple jacket, and jean jacket) The other two girls are German missionaries we were helping.
School we visited to help with Children’s ministry
Other side of the school
Helping pass out new testaments in a small village(Left to Right: Me, Lizete, and Yen)
Sunset in Draganesti, Romania
