Cinnamon-scented candles, fireplaces, and twinkle lights.
These are the things that bring that special feeling of Christmas. On an
average winter day at home in the states, I would walk out of the front door of
my house and be met by a cold wind, the jingle bells on our holiday wreath, and
the blinking of white lights wrapped around our hedges. These simple joys are
not available to me now because, well, I am not at home; I am in Africa.
Instead of white lights meeting me as I walk outside, I am met with four live
chickens nestled in the grass, awaiting their death for our dinner that night. This
is a little different that the feeling of the warm scent of a cinnamon candle.
On the positive side though, I’ve gotten to do things this
month that I never dreamed I would do in my entire life. I’ve gone further into
the African bush than Indiana Jones (did he travel to Africa?), and come out
with stories of heroic deeds of chicken kills, dodged hyenas, and successfully
used squatty potties. With that said, I am obviously living drastically
different than I would in my “normal” life in America. With nothing before me to remotely remind me
of home, how do I still find my mind trailing off towards my friends and family
who are celebrating this Christmas season in Georgia?
One night on the way home from one of our crusades I was,
once again, perched in the corner of the bed of that trusty old Toyota truck,
calves aching from the position I was forced to sit in and dust blowing in my
face. Coming to the end of my patience,
I started praying silently. And I was
painfully honest with God.
This is NOT how I
planned to spend my Christmas season this year, Lord. I love the people here
and this ministry, but I am seriously over this. I’m ready for a Christmas tree
and to sit at Starbucks with my mom over a hot chocolate. It’s too hot to drink hot chocolate in Africa,
and a Christmas tree won’t fit in my tent.
Insert grumpy Jessica here.
I’m not trying to cover it up; this is how I get sometimes and
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to be blatantly honest with God,
because He can take it. And He knows my
heart. After I prayed, my mind
fast-forwarded to my homecoming, six months from now. I pictured the reunion at
the airport with my friends and family; and the immediate celebration of
Christmas, my birthday, Thanksgiving, and every other holiday and important day
that I am forgetting. My heart started
to feel a little heavier as I dropped my head and felt the first wave of
homesickness sweep over me since the race began.
The more I prayed into these feelings and talked through them
with my team, the more God spoke to me about His promises. He revealed to me
some pretty exciting ways He wants me to grow the Kingdom when I get back to
the States, and assured me that He would stay true to His word concerning my
life.
However, He also spoke very clearly to me about this current
season of my life. He said,
“Jessica, when will you start living out Matthew 6? ‘Do not
worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries for itself.’ This is the
season I have you in, and you need to stop living for tomorrow, and start
living and appreciating what I am giving you today. Hot climate, weird food,
grass-hut showers and all, it’s not about your comfort; it’s about my Kingdom.
I know you miss home and your beloved family, and you will be reunited with them soon enough, but I need you here right
now.”
Low point. I’m not
sure why, but my heart sank lower at this.
I would have to be patient. You
get what you ask for, and so here comes some more character building.
I’m sure I will have many more instances like this to come,
where God will teach me the hard lesson.
It was good to remember to live in today, and it gets easier as the days
goes on. But if you would fulfill my
Christmas wish and keep myself and my teammates in your prayers this holiday
season; that although we will be away from our families and the normalcy that
Christmas at home brings, we will choose to live in the moment. I know it sounds
cheesy, but it works, and it’s how the Lord calls us to live.
Also, to my mom and all of my friends who are raising a
worried eyebrow to this blog, please don’t be concerned. It’s just a little case of homesickness. I just wanted to let you guys know that even
though I am in another hemisphere, my heart still beats for you. My passion has
been ignited for my family, and living in tight community with my friends, as
the unified body of Christ. It just took me traveling the world to realize how
blessed I am at home. I will never take that for granted again. You all bring
me more joy than all of the historic cities, beautiful mountain peeks, and blue
oceans I have seen on this journey.
So as I raise an imaginary glass of eggnog to you, I toast
to this season and proclaim it to be the best Christmas I have ever
experienced. No tree, no warm beverage, no comforts of home; just our Savior.
And I’m confident that that will be
enough. J
Love you all!
