Do you
ever have those times in your life where you definitely know that you
know that the Lord is up to something. What I’ll be doing this
summer I feel is one of those times for sure. It has to be.
Let me
give you a little background info.
Back
in…oh…probably 2007ish when I was finishing up my time in
college, I found Adventures in Missions and decided I wanted to go on
a college-age trip with them to India. As I was finishing my last
semester I began to pray, harder than I ever had before about
anything, about whether or not I should go on this trip. Long story
short I ended up taking a full-time job as an HR Assistant in my home town instead.
Ever since
then I had this draw to want to go to India. I honestly didn’t know
a lot about it. I didn’t know why I wanted to go. The pull was just
there.
In 2008 I
signed up for the World Race, got accepted, backed out, quit my job
in my small hometown in Mississippi and moved to even town in
Colorado to work in camping ministry in the captivating San Juan
mountains.
In 2010 I
moved to south-central New York and nannied for almost a year with a
wonderful family. It was during this time that I finally signed up
for the Race again.
Don’t
worry. This time I didn’t back out.
Through a
series of events I ended up on a WR route going to India. I was so
excited! I would even get to spend Christmas there. I thought this
would be wonderful.
I
certainly had no idea what I was in for.
India was
one of the months on the Race that was the hardest. Going into that
month I’d gone through a dramatic team change, a close racer from my
team had gone home to be with his sick grandmother and to top it off
I was put on an all girls team of 7 with no one that I wanted to be
with (at this point).
That month
was hard. I felt that everything had been stripped away from me. It
was weird being away from family at Christmas for the first time and
being in a foreign place with people who were still mostly
acquaintances. Unreliable Internet obviously made it all better.
Without going into detail I just had some hard experiences there, and
when the time came to leave I was more than happy to get out of that
place.
I left not
having a clue what it had all been about.
I didn’t
understand.
Why had I
had this pull towards India for 4 years? Why had it been one of the
hardest months? Why was it the one country that I was so glad to
leave behind? Why has it been well over a year, and sometimes I
still slightly cringe inside at the sound of India music and the
smell of Indian food?
Well, I
still don’t know the answers to those questions. Its been on ongoing
work of the Lord in my heart honestly. Since being off the field its
been something that I’ve had to give to the Lord. I didn’t want this
black mark on India or her people.. I’ve felt the Lord give me more
and more healing and forgiveness as time has gone on.
Now comes
the good part.
While in
CGA I’ve been learning a lot about discipleship. I’m being discipled
by someone and wanting to grow in that area of my life. Its actually
something that I feel will be a huge part of my life forever.
At the end
of May my apprenticeship in the office and discipleship classes will
cease. The summer is an opportunity in our CGA time to lead trips,
be a part of training camps or put more hours in at the office.
As our
options were being presented the Passport program just grabbed at my
heart. Discipling 18 to 22 year olds for 2 months overseas this
summer. Yes please. It just made sense. The perfect ending to my
time in CGA – knowledge put to action.
I applied
and got accepted. I can’t even tell you how excited I’ve been about
this opportunity! It’s something that’s going to push me out of my
comfort zone for sure, but it will be good.
Then came
the wait.
You see,
you don’t get to pick where you’ll lead. There were 3 or 4 places
that I really didn’t want to go back to. India was #1 on that list.
I knew
deep down in my heart that the Lord would put me wherever He thought
was best, but I honestly didn’t think that I would be placed in
India. I just didn’t.
So a
couple of weeks I got the email of where I had been placed.
You
guessed it…
INDIA!!!
I wasn’t
angry or disappointed. I was just kind of like, Are you kidding me,
God?! while smiling. Shocked but not shocked. Being like, You
WOULD! Disbelief but totally knowing that the Lord HAS to be up to
something. He just has to be.
This India
thing has been brewing for about 6 years now. Up to this point I
totally don’t get it. He keeps bringing it up though. Oh yeah, did
I mention for one of my classes I just read a big book by E. Stanley
Jones, A Song of Ascents. He was a missionary and evangelist
to India. Of course I would get that one.
Just the
other day I found out that if I would have put on my application that
I didn’t want to go to India they wouldn’t have sent me there.
Funny
thing is, I originally DID put that on my application, but I deleted
that before submitting it.
I don’t
think it was a coincidence.
So here we
go.
I’m taking
the Lord’s hand as He’s leading me back to where I didn’t want to go.
I’m doing it with great expectation though. I believe that He’s
already doing a work in me and in my co-leader and the girls that we
will be leading.
I can’t
wait to see how He’s going to show up!
(To donate
to this trip click HERE or click the “Support Me� tab on the
left. Please make a note for the donation to go towards my Passport
trip.)
*Pictures are from my time in Bangalore, India, December 2011*
