“You hem me in – behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.”
Psalm 139:5
God is such a redeeming, loving God. Lately, I’ve been in this funk I guess you’d say. If you read my 2 previous blogs (hint, hint) you know that I’ve been having a tough couple of weeks. I’ve been feeling like I’m on empty with zero energy to pour into people, do ministry or even continue on this Race. Sunday morning was another one of those mornings.
I was sitting in a Methodist church in India. It was comforting in the fact that my Grandma and Grandpa are Methodist, and I love when I attend their church a couple of times a year. So here I am in Bangalore attending a Methodist church service in English (thank You, Jesus!). Why do the tears start falling down on my cheeks as I’m journaling a prayer to Jesus about how I just can’t do this on my own?
I basically told the Lord that I’m not a quitter, but I just want to be home right now, back in the US. I told Him how much I missed everyone and how much I need Him to be my strength and for the Holy Spirit to revive me. The sermon was all about Hope too. The speaker said that Hope in the Old Testament was a noun, and it was basically meaning God. Hope = God. That’s pretty cool. Hope is what we as Christians can always cling too. I went through a couple of more hours of feeling this way and got another cry in. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Then at 2 we had to leave to go put on some sort of 90 minute kids program in the slums for kids ranging in age from 3 to 15. Did I mention that we found out about this THE DAY BEFORE? Welcome to The World Race! Throw something together and pray that the Holy Spirit shows up! Things like this are a regular occurrence on the Race.
We get there and shoot up a quick prayer before we start. The Lord totally shows up. Did I expect anything less of Him? I didn’t do much except sit with the kids and take some pictures, but the Lord totally used this time to revive me and fill me back up. It was refreshing. Being around kids is one of those things that can totally turn my attitude around, and these kids were amazing! We had such a great time and just played everything by ear, and it went wonderfully. To top off the afternoon we got to go to this amazing coffee shop and drink delicious drinks and have some really good girl time. With 12 girls all together what do you expect?!
Once again the Lover of my Soul gives me a gift. In the midst of my trials when I feel like throwing in the towel He gives me fresh perspective and Hope for this month, for the rest of the Race. The Holy Spirit revives me and pours into me. Maybe one day I’ll get better at all this, or maybe the Lord will continue to put hard things in my life to purify and refine me…
God’s got me and you (all of us) exactly where we are for His sovereign purposes. We are here for such a time as this. We need to step into all that God has for us, His best. Don’t just settle for the “good” things. Pursue the spectacular. God is bigger than MY plans. He’s even more interested in my growth than keeping me comfortable. The wonderful thing is that He’s with me every step of the way. Even when I feel alone, I’m not.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Heb 11:1) Have a little faith today and see what God does!
