Letting go is hard.
It hurts.
More than I expected.
They're just some kitchen things.
There's nothing particularly special about my crock pot or my mini food processor. I can always get more mixing bowls and spatulas.
But it's not the THINGS themselves that hold value. It's what they represent.
The past few years as I've been moving around I've accumulated some things. The things for a kitchen are what really bring me joy and give me hope of one day…
I love to cook, and I love to bake. And I love to do these things for other people.
My heart has been longing for a place of my own for several years.
A place where I could decorate however I pleased and know that the dirty dishes in the sink were mine.
I've been dreaming of place with an oven and lit candles and dog to call my own. A comfy chair where I could sit and sip coffee and read.
One day there would be a man there beside me too and hopefully some babies later on.
It seems silly at first to feel something so deeply while making a list of kitchen things that I'm going to sell before I move. It triggered something in me and touched on a very dear part of me. It's making me keenly aware of how much my heart still desires my own home, my own family, security and settledness.
In the midst of these waves of emotions I also feel the Lord tugging at my heart. He's inviting me to trust Him still. He's assuring me that He hasn't forgotten about me. He knows better than anyone what the desires of my heart are and how He's made me.
He's asking me to hold out my hands once again and trust that even though He's taking some things away from me right now, it's just to make room for something greater. He's freeing me to be able to receive more readily what He's wanting to give to me.
He's asking me to walk out in faith and keep believing that He has my best in mind and that it'll all be for His glory and His kingdom.
It's okay to feel the pain and to grieve. That just means that we'll be able to experience joy and peace that much more deeply.
In Proverbs 13 it says, "A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul."
We have to trust that He is who He says He is. He is faithful. He is loving. He is good and trustworthy.
So yeah, letting go is hard, but I'm believing that He's worth it even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
Have faith, friends, and take Jesus' words to heart:
"Store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be." (Matthew 6:20-21)
"I have told you this so that you might have peace in Me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33)
