Homesickness: An Unexpected Struggle

I miss the sound of sirens in the night. I miss the way the sun comes in my window through the leaves of the tree outside my room. I miss the abundance of fruit and veggies in my kitchen. I miss almond butter and green apples. I miss sugar scrubs and bubble bath. I miss my morning runs. A time when there was no agenda and no expectations. I miss walks by the mill or around the mountain. I miss hammocking in Thrasher Park and Farmer’s Market Tuesdays. I miss the endless conversations and life that happens between friends in coffee shops. I miss the streets and all the people who call them home whom I have come to love so much. I miss Mexican food and Cuban food and Thai food and Café Inertmezzo. I miss pomegranate margaritas and three amigos from Tin Lizzy’s. I miss the buzz of city life and the quietness of suburbia. I miss my baby girl. I miss reading on my couch with a cup of coffee.

Is this the homesickness thing they talk about?

Before the Race I there were maybe three times in my life where I was truly homesick. In preparation for the Race I read many blogs. Blog about life in the field, blogs about training camp and launch, blogs about all the amazing things The Lord was doing, and blogs about people experiencing homesickness and how it sometimes comes in giants waves all of a sudden and sometimes it sneaks up on you. If I’m being honest with you I didn’t really expect to be homesick at all.

But alas as it turns out I am not immune to this homesickness disease. This homesickness is like an unwelcome house guest who weasels their way into your home at the most inconvenient moment and stays far too long. It is like a slow trickle of water that suddenly suddenly turns into flood.

I wish there was how to guide on how to handle it because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for how deeply I would miss things from home. Things that seemingly held no great value but things that became part of my life. I found myself extremely distracted this week. I found it really hard to stay present. I caught myself many times daydreaming about things at home. What would I be doing? What would I be eating for dinner? How would I spend my weekends or days off from work? Would I still be working at Arden’s? I wonder how people in my community group are doing? Anything and everything I thought about it. Before I knew my day was gone and other than weeding I couldn’t tell you what really happened.

I’m not really sure what the purpose for writing this was but it’s what today on the World Race looks life for me. Just like life back home, some day are harder than others. Today is a hard day but tomorrow is a new day and while this homesick feeling may not go away over night I know it will dull with time. And it is a blessing really because it show how much The Lord has done in me over the last several years that I have now come to a place where I miss home instead of always wanting to leave it. So as much as it kind of blows I will rejoice in this feeling homesickness and be thankful for all the thing that I have come to miss.