Uncertainty…

I know it’s pretty late in the evening for a blog posting, but I just read my daily devotional (yes, I confess, sometimes I’m in such a hurry in the morning, I don’t even notice the book by my bedside and I don’t get to it until I get into bed…!) anyway, it really resonated with how I’ve been feeling these past few days.
 
As excited as I am to embark on this 11 month pilgrimage, I am also a bit nervous.  I wish I could say that i was nervous about what I may face while traveling the world…rejection from those who may not care to hear the message of God’s love for us, fear of becoming ill, terrorism or acts of violence…no, none of that.  My nervousness is about what will happen when I get back.  I mean when I REALLY stop and think about the big picture, I know that this nervousness is not of God, and I rebuke it. But the enemy has tricky, sly ways of subtly trying to make his way in… I have moments where I think, what am I coming back to?  I’ve left what I know of as my home in South Florida and camped out in a spare bedroom in my mother’s house while waiting for this trip, I’ve practically given away my belongings at a yard sale that didn’t bring in much money and I’m now hours away from selling my car. So yes, I’ve had those thoughts creep in such as what will I have when I come back?  Where will I live?  Will I be able to afford a new car? What will I do about income when I get back? …and the list could on and on and on…
 
But praise God for knowing our every thought and for loving us enough to be our comfort and hope through it all.  Like I said, when I REALLY stop and think about the big picture, I know I am safe in His hands and that I have no reason to worry whatsoever. God loves me! I am His daughter and He cares about every single detail of my life! He is my comfort and my provider!  God knowing my concerns, has reminded me today of what I’ve asked for from Him and what I know He calls us all to do…abandon ourselves for complete reliance in Him…that we may be completey satisfied in Him alone. I mean, that is why my team (Erin, AJ, Luke, Kimi, Cori & myself) named ourselves Team Abandon!  We want to abandon it all for Him. He is the desire or our hearts. He is the cry of our souls. He is what is on our minds all throughout the day. He is worthy of it all!
 
I wanted to share the devotion with you. Though our faith and our blessed hope is in things unseen, we know and can testify to Him through our heart. This is why we can face the uncertainty of what may happen next in our lives, because we know the certainty of our eternal life with Him.
 
The Graciousness of Uncertainty
‘..and what we will be has not yet been made known’— 1 John 3:2 (NIV)
Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere.
Common sense says – “Well, supposing I were in that condition . . .” We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in. Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, “Except ye become as little children.” Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

“Believe also in Me,” said Jesus, not – “Believe certain things about Me.” Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.