I was born in Paris, France and moved to the United States when I was 6 years old. I grew up in Derwood, Maryland, a suburb of Washington, D.C. I grew up in a Catholic home and attended Catholic school up until the middle of high school. Growing up I always believed in Jesus, but by no means had a personal relationship with him. I didn’t even know He wanted a relationship with me! I just saw Jesus in a historical perspective and not understanding that Jesus is the one, true, living God and that there was purpose of His coming to Earth and a purpose in His resurrection. I thought you were identified as a Christian if that was something you were born into, like being Italian, or something. I thought all religions were right and everyone had freedom to pick whatever they so desired; essentially saying we could be our own God, making up our own terms. So, not knowing the Lord personally, I lived life the way I thought I was supposed to live it. I tried to be a good, moral person. Not knowing any better, I mapped out my own life plan and tried to accomplish that plan on my own terms and according to what society says we should do. In doing this, I literally drained myself… I had tried every conceivable way to find true happiness, joy & love…partying, men, money, a career and various religions and forms of ‘spirituality’. None of those things worked. They were all temporary, shallow fixes that eventually led me to more emptiness… I was 25 years old and I had nothing left to try…
By the time college approached, I wanted to be as far away from home as possible. I wanted to have my freedom to do what I pleased, when I pleased. (This was a reoccurring theme in my young adult life). I decided to go to school in Florida. I pursued a Bachelors of Business Administration at Florida Atlantic University, studying marketing and economics. While in school I was very active in campus organizations and other extracurricular activities. I was a member in our university’s American Marketing Association chapter, took on a leadership role for our college Advertising Club and also participated in an economics & business development study abroad in Costa Rica and Panama. It was on this study abroad trip that I met and befriended Ashley, a Christian who had just started her walk with the Lord a month prior to the trip. She had made an impact on me in that she had shared her faith, her life changing experience as a Christian and her love of God.
Returning back from the trip I completed my university studies and began working as a marketing professional in a corporate business environment. In late 2007 something began stirring up inside me and I started to have a desire to go to church. A friend of mine from work had suggested I visit a church that she herself had visited not long ago. So I took her up on her invitation and it was like nothing I had every experienced before. It was full of lively people, clapping, singing & praising with so much enthusiasm to the worship music. These people actually LOVED God, loved hearing the bible and desired to turn from sin and please Him. This environment being so far from what I had ever experienced made me bit unsure about everything, but somehow I continued going week after week…praise God, because this was the first time I had heard the true Gospel of Jesus and was told that Jesus knew me and loved me! This was also the first time that I had heard that I was a sinner needing a savior.
I am a sinner. Sin disgusts God. Sin has a penalty. The penalty is eternal separation from God. I can not do anything to remove my sin….no amount of good deeds, kindness, service, NOTHING. At the very core, I am wicked and even my ‘good deeds’ are influenced for selfish motives. But because God loves me and desires me to know Him, he came onto this earth as Jesus Christ. Jesus lived the life I could not life for myself- a perfect, sinless life. Jesus died the death I deserved and in His death he took on my sins. Jesus rose from the dead, overcoming that sin, so that in Him, I may attain His righteousness, therefore making me right before God…not by anything I have done or could ever do, but by what He did on the cross. Hearing the Pastor and listening to amazing praise and worship music became addicting to my soul! During my time at this church I had witnessed grown adults being baptized (something also unfamiliar to me since I grew up Catholic and thought baptism was for babies!). This showed me that these people were really living out what they believed! They were committed to this! On the Sunday before Easter weekend, the pastor at the church had announced the upcoming Easter morning beach baptism. He had welcomed everyone who believed and accepted Jesus as their personal Savior to come and be baptized. I knew that was what I wanted to do, since I believed in Jesus and in everything that he preached. A true miracle occurred from the Holy Spirit on that Easter Sunday; I was moments from entering the water to be baptized when I prayed to God, acknowledged His sovereignty and surrendered my life and my will to God. I remember part of my prayer and those words are engraved on my heart, “God do with me whatever you will, I’m living for you. I can’t do this myself anymore.”
I’ll never forget that moment of just complete submission to Him. I truly believe that was the moment the Lord eternally blessed me, saved me and filled me with His Holy Spirit. Forgiveness of sins is a free gift, but it will cost you everything. You lose yourself to Him. You make Jesus Lord of your life. I now find myself in complete amazement and in awe in the work of the Lord! The truth that He has revealed to me, the miracles that have occurred in my life, the strong and faithful Christians he has put in my life to disciple, nurture and grow me, and most importantly the love He has given me. Jesus is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! Every day I am just more and more amazed with God’s awesome work and how He has just completely transformed my life, my purpose for living and the complete love and joy that is in my heart ALL BECAUSE OF HIM! For 25 years I lived for myself…trying to make it by my own strength. I depleted myself and when I had no more; He offered me his awesome provision. I would never trade this for the world! I am convicted that my purpose is to live for Him and share in His loving sacrifice and amazing grace through Jesus. All I want to do is serve Him and devote my life to Him.
