Yesterday I was hit really hard with the dreaded… feeling of being
HOMESICK!
The other night as a part of our team time we individually got
photos off Facebook to tell our stories to one another. I thought that it was a
great way for us to go deeper together as a team and also that I can put names
with faces. I enjoyed it so much that I stayed up until 3 o’clock in the
morning putting to together photos in Picnik collages of family and friends. My
team thought I cheated because I put in too many photos by putting them into
collages. (I thought it was brilliant though.)
I was talking to my sister Frances on Skype when all of a sudden I
got slapped in the face with it. This month we’ve been blessed to have really
good internet so I’ve been able to talk with my family and friends a little
more than I have in past months. Seeing pictures of people back home, getting
engaged, dating, having babies, throwing back to school parties, soon to be end
of the semester parties, football games, etc. In reality, I knew that the world
and life wouldn’t stop back in the states just because I wasn’t there, but a
small part of me thought other wise.
Anyways so with all these things I got hit. I’m not saying that I
don’t enjoy talking to people back home because I’d be lying if I said that.
Luke
14:26-27 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and
mother, wife and children, brothers and sister- yes, even their own life-such a
person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow
me cannot be my disciple.”
Matthew
10:37-39 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than
me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is
not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not
worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their
life for my sake will find it.”
I read another blog today titled “I Hate My Family” by Amanda
Brucki as I was reading it just got me thinking even more about this.
I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to miss family and friends
back home. I’m most definitely not saying that it’s not okay for me to talk to
them. It’s when my constant thoughts of back home get in the way of me
praising, glorifying, and loving the Lord like I should then it’s a problem. Community
is a great thing but if my other relationships are put before God then we have
a problem. My relationship with GOD IS the MOST
IMPORTANT thing in my life… above my family, above my friends,
above all other relationships.
There are going to be days when it’s hard.
Some days are just going to down right suck!
But…I choose Jesus!
I choose Him above all, to the point where I’ve been away for 5
months, will be for another 6, and if He calls me to longer then that’s where
I’ll be.
Christ didn’t say that following Him would be easy,
Matthew
10:16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves…” That, my friend, does not sound easy.
This life… is not about me! In any way, shape, or form.
As many times as I try to make it about me, it’s not.
All that I am, All that I do, All that I was created to be… IT’S
ABOUT JESUS… not me!
My life is for Him… not for me!
I choose Him!
It’s not always easy. It’s a choice that I must make daily to die
to myself. To die to those that I once held dear because I choose to pick up my
cross and follow Christ. There are going to be days when all I want to do are
sit on the couch with my best friend or go on a road trip with my sister or
watching Golden Girls with my roommates, but it’s not about me! It’s not about
my wants or desires. It’s about Christ!
