How can I sit there and just watch all of this happen? How can I sit there and sip a coke knowing what is going on all around me? How can I sit there and listen to people discuss prices for the night? How can I just sit there? Someone please tell me.
My heart is breaking. My heart is literally being ripped out of my chest. I want to talk to these girls and tell them how beautiful they are, not from a worldly perspective but how God views them. I want them to know that they are worth someone loving them the way they deserve to be loved. I want to tell them that their hearts are worth more than one night. I want to tell them that the money they are receiving each night will never satisfy them. I want to tell them that even if they had all the money in the world it would never take away the pain. I want to tell the men that this “love” will never satisfy them no matter how many times they come back. The hole that they are looking to fill will never be filled this way.
I want to tell them all of this not because it’s something that I’ve heard in the church I grew up in or at every VBS I’ve ever been to but because it’s something I know.
I know what it’s like to be unsatisfied by the things of this world.
I know what it’s like to wear short shorts and low cut shirts, basically selling your body just to make more money at work.
I know what it’s like to have your boss watch over you making sure the customers are being “taken care of.”
I know what it’s like to drink until the pain goes away.
I know what it’s like to be so high you can’t feel anything anymore.
I know what it’s like to check a scale everyday to make sure that you haven’t gained weight because of course everyone would notice if you gain even a half a pound.
I know what it’s like to flirt with someone to get the “love” you want/ need even if it’s just one night.
I know what it’s like to feel stuck with no way out.
Then I think, honestly I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything about these girls. I don’t know anything about their past. I don’t know what they’ve been through or what they’re going through. For all I know these girls have never even heard of God and Jesus, which makes my heart break even more. Even through this period of life I knew God. I wasn’t following Him but I knew who He was.
I want to put down the coke I’m drinking as I watch all of this go on, march over to these girls, “cock-block” the guy, take the girls to a coffee shop and explain all of this to them. What’s that going to do though? Nothing. That’s what God showed me within about 2 minutes of sitting in the bar on Thursday night. This battle is so much bigger than me. It’s bigger than anything I can do. Honestly, I am so thankful that my God is bigger than that. I am so thankful that when I sit in a bar drinking a coke and cry out to the Father that He hears my cries. Not only does He hear my cry, He listens and is answering my prayers. This is not a physical battle but a spiritual battle. The good new is the battle has already been won!! It’s not over though because Christ has not come back yet so we must keep fighting and pressing on until the end.
I’m asking that you join alongside us in this battle by lifting up in prayer: the bar girls, the men that walk into the bars, the ministry here in Thailand, our teams, our conversations, that our hearts and thoughts would remain pure, and just that the love of Christ will be poured all over this place. Thank you for all of your love, support, and prayers.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Never stop praying.”
