Recently, I feel as though I’ve been loving others, but not as much as I could be. God gave me so much love to share with His people and I want it just to overflow. I don’t want a complacency to come over me. I don’t want to be comfortable!!
After Cristie shared with us those verses (the ones from the previous blog), the squad leaders told us all to find an area in the hostel and spend some time in the presence of God. So for about a hour and a half I sat there, outside in front of the fire just thinking. I was thinking God I could be doing so much more for you. I need to learn more scripture. I need to study more. I need to do this and that. I’m sorry and just all of these things. In the middle of me sitting there, two different verses came to mind (note: I’ve never even once looked at these verses.)
2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.”
Isaiah 6:8 “And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I! Send me.'”
After that we came back together as a squad we began to worship and I haven’t felt so alive in a while. I felt like the presence of the Lord was with us in the room! As I looked around at our squad I fell so in love with each person. God put us all together for a reason and we are all here serving the great and mighty King! During the worship session Cristie came up to me and spoke life into me, encouraging me by telling me that God has big plans for me and that I have so much love to continue sharing it with other people.
The next day we got up and were off again! La Paz, Bolivia here we come! We’ve already gone across the border and then we come to a stop where they tell us we need to all get off the bus. I’m standing outside the bus looking at this river thinking “umm… are we going around or what’s going on?” Then I see that our bus with all of our humongous packs is being driven onto a boat that I possibly could have built myself. I’ll admit I was a little nervous for our packs. At least I had my passport on hand just in case something did happen, but after about 20 minutes our bus made it safely across. (As did the squad but on much safer looking boats.) This is how our bus got across the river!
Anyways… Back to what I’m learning. When we got there were stayed at another hostel with the whole squad for the night I got a chance to talk with Billy (another one of our great squad leaders). After talking with him for awhile, Billy has challenged me with three things:
1. To stop apologizing for not doing “more” and be intimate with God
2. To live out the desires of my heart that God’s given me instead of trying to live up to expectations that I’ve put on myself
3. To think about what God is telling me and what He’s teaching me.
I’ve realized through talking with Billy that I’ve put expectations on myself, whether it’s I need to be more like this or more like that because I don’t want people to be disappointed in me. Through this I’m learning that I’m going to mess up and that it’s okay. I’m learning what it means to receive grace and accept it, also to give grace more so that I can love more like Christ. God has been teaching me so much about His love every day!!
Romans 5:2 “Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”
