In my life I have constantly had to battle with BOLDNESS. The truth is a lot of times in my life I dont believe in myself and often times I have said, “There is no way I can do that, I’m just not good at that. (fill in the blank) would be better at it then me”. But this is a lie that I have allowed myself to believe for too long.
The Lord has been refining me these past 8 months through the hard times, the fun times and the easy times and has taught me who I AM in HIM. I had to stop believing the lies and get rid of them before I could fully believe the truths that he has spoken over me. So in this the boldness is starting to come more and more daily.
When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.
Psalm 138:3
The above verse says it all, when I called so when I was reaching out to the Lord for the BOLDNESS I have longed for he answered and has made me BOLD.
This month we spent the month in Nsoko, Swaziland. It is a beautiful place that I have fallen in love with. I know the Lord brought me there to give strengthen me and give me more confidence in myself. There were two paticular circumstances where the Lord really used me when I just did what he was asking.
One of 
the weekend’s in Nsoko we held a women’s retreat called, “Beauty to Ashes”. I was asked to help out at this event but I was just going to do a small group and help do behind the scene kind of stuff. I really enjoy this kind of work because I dont have to be up in front with a mic so I was more then willing. Well one of the nights we did a really beautfiul service. We had the women nail the “ashes” to the cross. One of my teammates Krystle approached me and said that God put it on her heart for me to say some words. So with God’s strength and boldness I did where I would normally run. I spoke about freedom and the healing that the Lord has brought over my life this year. When I was asked to speak I said yes and didnt look back for one second. You see guys if you ask for boldness the Lord will give it to you but the thing is he is going to speak through you too. I’m not completly sure what I said but he used me to speak to those women that night.
the weekend’s in Nsoko we held a women’s retreat called, “Beauty to Ashes”. I was asked to help out at this event but I was just going to do a small group and help do behind the scene kind of stuff. I really enjoy this kind of work because I dont have to be up in front with a mic so I was more then willing. Well one of the nights we did a really beautfiul service. We had the women nail the “ashes” to the cross. One of my teammates Krystle approached me and said that God put it on her heart for me to say some words. So with God’s strength and boldness I did where I would normally run. I spoke about freedom and the healing that the Lord has brought over my life this year. When I was asked to speak I said yes and didnt look back for one second. You see guys if you ask for boldness the Lord will give it to you but the thing is he is going to speak through you too. I’m not completly sure what I said but he used me to speak to those women that night. A few days later I was asked to lead the team devotional for the next morning. I was really unsure 
what I was going to speak about but the Lord just really gave me a peace of mind about it. So he layed it on my heart to speak about exhaustion. This is month 9 now of the race and its a hard time and most of us are tired. God wanted me to encourage the girls about the importance of finishing strong not just finishing but giving all that we have until the very end. He wanted me to encourage them. Also in the past in this circumstance I would have said, “NO WAY I have no clue what I would speak about”. But insteed of thinking I just did it and ask for the Lord’s voice.
what I was going to speak about but the Lord just really gave me a peace of mind about it. So he layed it on my heart to speak about exhaustion. This is month 9 now of the race and its a hard time and most of us are tired. God wanted me to encourage the girls about the importance of finishing strong not just finishing but giving all that we have until the very end. He wanted me to encourage them. Also in the past in this circumstance I would have said, “NO WAY I have no clue what I would speak about”. But insteed of thinking I just did it and ask for the Lord’s voice. So this month God has been taking my Boldness to the next level and through this he is preparing me for something big. Both of these stories may seem a little dumb and not a big deal but I walk in the truth that God is still changing my life to be more like his. I am also learning if i rely on him to be my voice he will.Its not me speaking its him speaking through me. Pray that I continue to walk this way.
