I Believe He Does Carry Us
I have to admit, despite being raised in a Christian household as a PK (Pastor’s Kid), for the first 21 years of my life I knew of God but did not have a personal relationship with Him. Like so many others, I had to learn the hard way that I NEED God in my life. The majority of my spiritual growth has occurred in times of absolute brokenness. I can recall numerous instances throughout my life when I have felt completely broken; however, one particular moment stands out as the first moment of brokenness where I realized how desperately I needed a relationship with Christ in order to mend the brokenness of my current life. This moment actually occurred about three and a half years ago. I had been searching to grow closer to God for a little over a year at the time, but it hadn’t been a whole hearted effort. One particular day, I was driving home from work listening to a Mercy Me CD I had purchased a few weeks earlier. As I was driving, the song “Homesick” came on. Although I had heard the song many times before, the lyrics struck a different chord with me that day. The song is about losing someone you love and battling with the fact that you are physically separated while they are in heaven and you are still on earth. I have never lost a loved one, and yet, upon hearing the chorus, I began to sob.
“I close my eyes and I see your face, if home is where the heart is then I’m out of place Lord won’t
you give me strength to make it through somehow, because I’ve never been more homesick then now.”
“I close my eyes and I see your face, if home is where the heart is then I’m out of place Lord won’t
you give me strength to make it through somehow, because I’ve never been more homesick then now.”
For me, that song wasn’t about losing a loved one. Instead, it was about a young woman who had lived the majority of her life devoid of a relationship with God who was searching for something to fill the emptiness of her life. I had been told time and again that God could fill that void, but the thought never really sank in until the moment I heard the words to that song. HOMESICK! That is exactly how I felt. I was living in my hometown just minutes from my family and friends, and yet I was homesick! HOW? I realized then and there that I was homesick for my Heavenly Father — the one who could take the pieces of my broken life and put them back together again. In the midst of my sobs, I told Him how much I needed Him. I BEGGED HIM TO COME CARRY ME “HOME”. That day was a turning point for me. Although it didn’t come easy, I began making the changes necessary to cure the feeling of being homesick for Christ.
For this reason, and many others, I sincerely believe: in my brokenness, He carries me.
