What a week it has been. Wrapping up ministry in the Philippines and then moving on to some intense time at debrief in Hong Kong. God continues to stretch me.
Leading up to this week, I found myself asking whether or not I truly understand what people mean when they tell me that Jesus loves me. I know it seems like something that should be pretty simple to understand, but I have been longing for a deeper understanding of what it means to love someone enough to send your ONE and ONLY SON to die for the world’s sin.
This past month, I felt as if God was pushing me to reach a bit of breakthrough–I breakthrough that I strongly desire. I had been feeling as though I had hit a wall in my personal time with the Lord that I just could not get past. I began asking for a deeper understanding of Him and His love for me; the answer to that prayer came this week.
After training camp, I was convinced that God had healed the pains of my past and the many things that hurt me throughout the course of my life up to that point. I learned this week that training camp was only the beginning. When I signed up for the race, I knew the Lord was going to change me, but He is already working in ways that are far beyond anything I ever imagined.
Through Gary’s teaching this week, God dug deeper into my heart and caused more of my past hurt to surface. The beauty of pain resurfacing is the that the process of healing can begin. God has called me to be vulnerable before my squad and my team this week; hanging some of my “dirty laundry” for all to see. Up to this point, I have been hiding behind masks of strength and perfection.
A dear friend of mine spoke a prophetic word over me earlier this week that brought me to my knees before the Lord. She told me that there was a little girl trapped inside of me waiting to get out. She told me that Jesus was holding the “ball” that I was trapped in and slowly melting it away. Little did she know that I have felt this was true for the lase 3-4 years. I had been praying that God would set me free and release me from the burdens that were weighing on me and again, this week He answered my prayers.
According to the concordance in my bible, HEALING is marked by restoring something to its original purity or integrity. That is exactly what this week has been for me. God is restoring me to my original purity or integrity. This healing has manifested a great deal of change in me already. I am finding that my heart for my team is renewed and more pure than ever before. I am finding it easier to love them and show grace to them. I see His healing hand upon each one of them as well and it excites me! Their love for Him continues to grow and mature, inspiring me to desire even more of Christ’s love for them!
Jeremiah 17:14 says: “O Lord, if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!”
TRUE healing comes from Him and Him alone. I claim this healing in Jesus name…Amen.
