Where were you at this time last year?
The first week of January 2008 the Lord wrecked me. Between the last of five rejection letters from various PA programs and the sudden end to a relationship, I felt as though my whole world had been turned upside down. For almost two years, I thought I had things all figured out. I thought I knew where the Lord was leading me, and I was going after it. I thought all I had to do was wait for things to start to fall in place. As things came crashing down the first week of January, I realized, I had it all wrong. All this time, I had convinced myself that my personal desires were the Lord’s desires for my life. I was running after everything I wanted, never really seeking the Lord or His will for my life along the way. I suddenly began to realize why things weren’t working out the way I had hoped or planned. I remember kneeling on the floor in my apartment one night, in tears before the Lord, pleading for Him to provide me with some sort of understanding. I was frustrated and broken. I didn’t know what to do. It is this very moment, when I felt I had nothing left that I turned to the Lord and I said “OK! I’m sorry! I’ve been trying to do this my way, and obviously it just is not working. I don’t know what you want from me, but I am done fighting you! I surrender my life and my relationships to you. From now on Lord, YOU are the one in control. I am sorry that I have tried to take that control upon myself for so long. Take me Lord. I’m sorry. Make me into the woman YOU want me to be. I’m yours. Please, love me, protect me and make me whole once again. I love you!…Amen”. A year ago, almost to the day, I surrendered my will and my life to the Lord-and a year later I am half way around the world on a mission to serve HIM each and every day! In the past year, my relationship with the Lord has grown immensely. I still have to surrender my life and my will to Him daily, but something has definitely changed. I feel more fulfilled today then I ever have, and definitely more then I did a year ago. The Lord wrecked me last year and brought me to a point of complete surrender. As I surrendered my control to HIM, He began leading me to the places HE knew were best…to the World Race, and this month to Uganda! His plan truly IS better than mine. I stand in awe of His Sovereignty!
