So how is God not faithful? Has He given me everything I want? Nope. Has He allowed me to be comfortable on the journey? No way. Has He allowed me to see Him come through early on in fullness? Not a chance. Does that mean He’s not faithful? It could, depending on your perspective.
In my book, God’s always faithful. It’s part of His very essence. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 says “But the Lord is faithful.” He is faithful in giving me what I need, not what I want. He loves me enough to help refine my character. Somehow that doesn’t seem to come with a nice fat paycheck, clean showers and lots of people who are delighted to spend time with me. What it does come with is a chance to trust His faithfulness to provide even when I don’t see a way out. It comes with a chance to become more like Him through refining fires. At the end of the day, it makes me a better person. For that, I am truly grateful for His faithfulness to my eternal well-being.
As I type this, I am totally unclear on how if at all I will become fully funded. I know I have come much farther with the help of family, friends and a couple of strangers (I like to call them future friends) than I even thought I would. I know that I have finite resources and those have been pretty tapped financially. So, now it’s all on God. I have to trust Him 100% to fill in the gap. How it will work out, I don’t have a clue. Yet, I walk in faith and trust in Him. I’ve done my part to ask for help and to pray about it diligently. I believe He will work through the rest of it. I’ve seen it happen before. Not just in the lives of teammates and squad mates, but in my life as well.
QUICK STORY: There was a time in my life when I took a job change that I thought would end up being more lucrative (it was pretty much promised as such). It had some risk involved in it, but it appeared to be a pretty sure thing. Since I worked in the mortgage industry and most of the people reading this live in America, I’m sure you can figure out why things didn’t exactly pan out as planned. I had just finished FINALLY paying off college loans not too long before that and hadn’t yet gotten to a place where I could save up much. Each time I saved up anything, it seems I had a major house repair (or replacement) that had to happen. So, I was essentially living hand to mouth even while living a modest lifestyle. When the first few paychecks that came in were less than half of what I had previously made, I had to scramble to figure out what to do to make ends meet. I took on babysitting gigs as much as possible and did anything I could to further reduce expenses. Still, I knew that the amount of money coming in was much less than the true expenses I had, so I was going in the hole. A couple of months of living like this left me with an empty cupboard (I refused to go into credit card debt to pay for things). One night I had nothing left but a package of Ramen noodles, a left over microwave popcorn bag that was left behind by a friend and I think an old granola bar. My tummy was GROWLING. But I still refused to pull out the plastic. What I did was pray fiercely! I had hinted at my situation to only a couple of close friends without going into too much detail. Well, after my last meal (the glorious Ramen, popcorn meal), I had no idea what to do next. I literally had used pocket change to fill my car with enough gas to get to work. (More than once I was on fumes until the next day when my paycheck would hit the bank.) Meals bought by friends/co-workers helped me get through the times. As I drove home from work the next day knowing I had no food at the house and no clue what to do for food, I saw a huge cardboard box on my doorstep. The box had a humorous adaptation of a nursery rhyme written on it about Old Mother Hubbard and food in the cupboard. I don’t remember exactly what was written on it, but I do know it was full to the brim with all sorts of canned goodies and non-perishable food items. Needless to say, I burst into tears over how much God had poured His love on me through an anonymous benefactor. His amazing provision in those difficult times over and over again affirmed to me how faithful He was through it all. And I know His nature well enough by now to know that He will be once again.
It seems to me like God really enjoys coming through at the eleventh hour to stretch our faith to the fullest. He provides in crazy ways at all times. Even this month as our team budget was stretched thin, God provided early on through others who wanted to bless us with meals and through grocers who cut us great deals on water that we bought in mass quantities. He provided rides for us when we needed them (including delayed busses) and buckets of rain when we needed it. There have been a slew of blessings poured on us even in the midst of our leech infested, challenging work. We have had exactly what we needed even if it’s not exactly what we wanted. So, I thank God this side of crossing the Red Sea for the blessings He will provide on the other side. I thank Him on this side of the issue that He will provide and will help me through to the other side somehow. (Borrowing from a friend’s devotional thought-it’s easy to praise God once we’ve crossed over the Red Sea on our journey to the promised land. What is a challenge is to praise Him as the enemy is approaching to kill us and all we have before us is a vast, impassable sea. When we require a miracle to help us survive, that is when we need to sing His praises the loudest.)
As of right now, it is March 25th and I have until March 31st to raise the remaining $1175 needed in my account. God will be faithful even as it continues to stretch my faith to trust Him in this! I thank Him and praise Him!! I love this crazy faith journey! Is God NOT faithful? NO. He truly is faithful. Even if it doesn’t always appear so by the world’s standards. This waiting until the last minute and giving me character refining situations is truly the most loving thing He could give me. I thank Him and praise Him for it!
Matthew 7:7-11 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
P.S. To help get me to fully funded and to be a part of God’s answer to my prayer, please click on “Support Me” on the left. I just need a few more of these…THANKS!!
(A few “bucks” from each country):
UPDATE:
Whoa, Nelly!!! It is now Monday evening in the states 3/28 & I am fully funded, praise the good Lord!!! Woo hoo!!! So THANK YOU for pouring in the love & blessings so abundantly!!! I am truly grateful & overwhelmed by love from all over the world. Thank you for your sacrifices!
Much love from Malaysia! xoxo
