Pacing back and forth in the sanctuary, I was praying about reentry to America. I was praying against bitterness and resentment towards Christians at home. I’ve been overseas before to an impoverished nation but what I’ve seen and heard this year has far surpassed that. Unfortunately, it’s something I’ve become accustomed to though. It doesn’t faze me to see kids covered from head to toe in dirt with tattered clothes and no shoes. The shacks people live in are normal for my eyes to see every single day. I mean, I live next door to a trash dump that’s been closed for years, but children are raised to dig through it still, as the fires burn daily.
When I step back onto American soil, I think everything I’ve seen over these eleven months is going to wash over me like a nightmare. It’s going to come in waves of grief for what I failed to recognize, waves of resentment toward people who just won’t understand what I’m seeing play on repeat in my mind, and waves of bitterness toward people who are wasteful or materialistic. It’s hard to predict what I’ll be feeling those first few weeks at home, but I know this year has changed me more than I think; I don’t want to lose the perspective I’ve gained.
Reading God’s word from this perspective inspires me to action. “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” (James 2:15-16)
Seriously, what good is that? And how often is that exactly what we do? How much more time do we spend in Bible studies, church, and committee meetings than actually serving our communities? To quote Paul, I’m like chief sinner as it pertains to this matter.
At my highest in college, I probably spent nine hours a week with different ministries I was a part of. There were Bible studies, worship nights, and church services. I’m not trying to knock any of these things; they are incredibly encouraging to the Body. One of the things I’m most looking forward to about going home is returning to my church family. I only made it through some of my darkest times because of those people.
But isn’t God calling us to more than that? And not out of pride so people will think highly of us but out of humility because we are no greater than anyone we help who’s in need. We give knowing that everything comes from God and we serve knowing that’s what Christ came to Earth to do for us.
