My
eyes closed and I found myself sitting Indian style in green grass that could
have used a good mow. I was looking down when I saw two feet approach me. I
looked up to see God holding out his hands to me, inviting me to come with him.
Without a word, I got up to go with him.
This
was the vision I had during our last night of worship at camp. The night
started with a powerful speaker and me in the front row. A few minutes into the
service, he pointed directly at me, looked me in the eye and said, “God looks
at you and says, “This is my girl.” I was floored. It immediately lead me to
think about how that fit into my life and how I view myself. I realized I had
never felt wanted. I’d never felt important or like I mattered. As if when I
was born, I was looked at in an apathetic way. There was no inexpressible joy at my arrival.
Then
the speaker went on and he talked about orphans. How many of us feel like
orphans who are in God’s kingdom? How many of us don’t see that we have been
chosen and adopted by our Heavenly Father who loves us more deeply than anyone
on Earth ever could? We are the sons and daughters of a King! One of my
favorite verses comes from Psalm 27, “For my father and mother have forsaken
me, but the Lord will take me in.”
That
verse had come into my mind three days earlier when I was struggling with God.
I wasn’t feeling Him or seeing Him at work in my life. All I felt was
abandoned, like I wasn’t doing something right. I had realized that abandonment
was a huge fear and that a reoccurring theme in my life was no safety or
security. From many of my life experiences, I had felt unsafe and that there
was no one there to fight on my behalf. Everything has always felt shaky as if
it were on sinking sand. My
foundation is being re-laid by Jesus. What about you? How sturdy is your
foundation right now?
