Who am I? What kind of life am I living that I deserve to be doing what I am doing. In all honesty, I would rather be no where than where I am today. It has only been a few weeks and we, as teams and a squad have already done, learned, and experienced so much.
The first week and a half in Guatemala was a releasing of a lot of our old selves, past experiences and sharing our testimonies. The men on our squad started by getting so vulnerable and sharing things of their past and apologizing to us women that they had not been the men of God that they were created to be for us. That just opened up a vulnerable state for the entire squad. I can say that I have never met as many amazing men of God than I have now. We finally got to a time where each of us, about 65 people, wrote out on a card what is something in our life we want to let go? and how we replace it with God's truth in our lives instead of believing lies we have told ourselves. This led to sharing with eachother and went outside to light the bowl of papers on fire! Such a release and freedom when we are able to let ourselves get to such a vulnerable state instead of keeping things bottled in any longer! Man–if you haven't tried it, don't wait to get it out there, release it! There truly is freedom.
My teamMATES Brant, James, Rachel, Shayna, Katie and I all had the privelege of being able to work and do ministry at a local orphanage for the past month. It is called Casa de mi Padre. (My Fathers House) We gladly got to paint inside and outside of the orphanage as well as play and spend time with the kids. It has been amazing to see this place and how it truly has a home feeling. Our team feels right at home and the founder, Shane, loves on the kids so much. They call him "Papa Shane." To see that these abandoned, abused physically, sexually, neglected kids have a new home is amazing to be apart of. I love when little Jimmy runs up to hug and kiss me. I love when Rosita lets me hold her in my arms and lets me tell her she is beautiful. I love painting Nicole's nails. I love when Hector cries when I tell Him that if he was the only person on the earth that God would still die for Him and thats how much He loves him. I love when I get to jump on the trampoline with Ponchito. I just love to love on these kids as if they are my own.
A couple weekends ago, our squad went on a retreat to Lake Atitlan. Here we were able to be free to relax, explore, spend time with the Lord and with friends, and to make experiences and memories. This, I can say was an incredible experience. The hostel we stayed in was the best hostel I have been to, and I have been to quite a few. All the rooms were different. Some double beds, 4 beds, hotel like rooms, open air rooms, some had bathrooms, some didn't, but all unique and so cool. They had breakfast and dinner prepared for us each night, which were amazing btw. They had a pool room, hammocks, and even a dress up room. What the heck? Awesome! I can gladly say that I had some wonderful memories and created stories. A group of us was able to enjoy sitting on a rock after climbing up a mountain being so high we were parallel to the clouds and hawks were flying under us. We took boats to go cliff jumping, dance parties, play guitar, and had one of the most amazing worship nights.
This amazing worship night was by far one of the best I have ever had. Having the amazing view of the volcano, stars, mountains, the moon, trees, the never ending deep waters, clouds, lightning in the background, we were all in our element while some standing, sitting, or laying down. It was definitely an intense experience that we felt the presence of God so heavily. Some ended up jumping in the lake in the middle of it, we jumped in a circle holding hands and singing, praising our God for being so good and for being able to sit in awe of His creation. I know if any of you were to sit in the exact spot we were in, you would be speachless.
Again, I am in awe of the life that God has graciously given me to live. It is not easy, but man, it is worth it.
And these are just a couple things that have been going on……
