There are certain aspects of life that the World Race magnifies for each Racer. For me, it has been the reality of the impermanence of my life. For the past few days, this has been hitting me especially hard.
First, let me say I am extremely happy to be on the World Race. I'm not itching to hop a plane back to the States. I don't wake up in the morning wishing I was in "my" bed or craving coffee from my favorite barista or wishing I could spend some time and money at the mall. I am exactly where I am supposed to be; which happens to be Bulgaria at the moment. What I yearn for is much more elusive (and increasingly difficult to be without) than any of these minuscule things.
For at least the last 13 years of my life, I have lived on a conveyor belt…..spiritually, geographically, relationally, etc. Although each stop on the line has been purposeful, the constant movement has taken a huge toll. I am constantly challenged with new people and places. Acclimating to new priorities with new employers and co-workers has been replaced with adjusting to new teammates and countries on the World Race. I have gained and lost friends, reached goals and failed in significant ways, been pruned and bloomed throughout the passing seasons. Growing up in a place where people were born, lived, and died in a fifteen square mile radius lit a fire in me early on to go and do and be all that I could. I disdained the idea of a boring life and took action to make sure mine was anything but boring.
For the largest part, what I have experienced has been nothing short of amazing. I have done more in 35 years than many people do in a lifetime. I'm not bragging; it's just true. And I am grateful. At this very moment, I am living in a country I know little about with people who are teaching me its life, culture, religion, etc., in ways I can barely comprehend. Only in hindsight will the full value of these lessons become clear. My life is and always has been uncommon. God seems to be obliged to do things for me differently. At this moment, though, I find myself tired and worn by the constant movement and a new dream is gripping me.
Many days I dream of finding home. I dream of contentedly living in the same place, in the same house, with the same job and the same people as wistfully as many people dream of vacating that kind of existence. I pray for the breaking of my conveyor belt. I desperately desire to be rooted in a way I've never experienced. Of all the gifts I've received from God that I haven't even asked for, I fervently pray He satisfies my heart with this good thing.
This year spent on the World Race is a gift to my heart and life. I am glad God chose to bring me here now; when I am more open to His plans and building His kingdom than at any other point in my life. It's amazing to have a Daddy that gives me such good things. Please pray with me that this year would be everything He intended it to be, that I will have a ready "yes" for His plans and have eyes to see His designs in each day. And when I finish this year, pray also that He will take me home.
**I only need $7,000 to be fully funded for my year on the World Race. Tax-deductible, financial gifts are needed and appreciated. Every dollar counts!
