When I started the World Race, I thought I didn’t have any “expectations.” I really didn’t think anything would surprise me. I was wrong.
The adrenaline rush of the past few months is gone now. The crisis is officially over. I am transitioning, yet again, into returning to the mission field soon. I have a new team….different country……changed perspective.
I wanted this year. I expected and wanted to spend eleven months in eleven countries; living in community with others through the good, bad and ugly. I wanted it because I knew it would make me better…..give God more space to stretch me, heal me, refine me. I knew it would be hard enough to keep me interested. And, I knew beautiful results would surface. What I didn’t expect was having to return to the US only ten weeks after launch.
Because of God’s character and infinite wisdom, I fully trust Him in allowing my car accident to happen. I’d say 95% of the time, that’s where my focus lies. I am grateful for that. Then there is the other 5% of the time when I wonder what I missed out on. I hear stories and see pictures from R Squad, and think how refreshing those experiences would have been to me. More than anything, this year I NEEDED to be refreshed…..to spend an afternoon in the leper colony, to have my voice drown out by verses sung in indistinguishable languages, cuddle with tigers, wrestle with teachable moments, watch the sun rise over mountains I may never see again, leave all the responsibility of my State-side life behind and come away with Jesus. Loosing the past four months hurts. Right now, it’s the most raw wound I have left.
But here is what I know…..that God is a redeemer. He redeems time and He is always purposeful. He is always taking me into something better than I have today, if I keep moving in step with Him. I know that He cares more about my heart than I do. I know He wants me to keep talking to Him, no matter what I have to say. I know He sees the great things He is sending to me when all I can see is my mess. And all that makes my mess matter much less. I know He is faithful. I know.
So, right now, I’m choosing to toast to all the adventures of the final few months of my World Race. They will be everything God intends them to be. And, they will be good.
Thanks to all of you who are in this with me. I couldn’t do it without you.
