TRUST
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding.
God has given this scripture to me many times during the race. Through people, my dreams in China, and especially this month. I had to write and give my testimony this month to a large congregation. I should have had it ready and prepared before I started the race. However I procrastinated this like I do all the important things. 😛 In fact the night before I was to give my testimony. I was too tired to think. So I prayed … "Lord, give me the words somehow before 9am." Then I fell asleep.
I woke up with my mind racing with ideas. I wasn't one bit nervous. God spent two hours that morning pouring everything I was to say into my head. I didn't end up giving my testimony that day, the church service didn't have time, I was disappointed. However, I did give it the following Sunday.
This Sunday I was really nervous … But it fueled me for a good testimony. I trusted God that I would give it when it was needed. I was just so happy he gave me a great Testimony and how it even opened my own eyes to write it.
The major thing that kept surfacing as I was writing my testimony was TRUST. I could see how all my life I have loved others so well. Love is one of my special gifts. My team leader Kristen and our ministry contact Anna pointed this out to me several times. Then as I wrote my testimony I could see how so many times in life everything, I have done and been through, was always because I loved someone so much. This is the greatest thing … According to the Bible right?
1 Corinthians 13:13 says … " faith, hope, and love are some good things He has given us … But the greatest is Love! It also says in Corinthians 13: 1-3 that we can be good and do all things right but if we have not Love, we have nothing, and will not make it to GOD's kingdom.
My personal definition of LOVE … is when someone else's thoughts and feelings mean more than your own. I have done this very well most of my life. I've put others before myself even to my own hurt and sacrifice. So, I'm perfect in GOD's eyes right? I've lived how I am called to live. YAY ME!
NOT!!!!!!!!!!
While my brain was racing with God through my life testimony … Which God and I cleverly address to the congregation as a "Love Story" I realized that the amazing love I felt was always for others, but not necessarily for God. As God wrote through my hands that morning … I saw how time and time again, in my love for others, I broke three of GOD's commandments.
God was always more of a guy upstairs watching and judging me. I didn't have a real relationship with Him. So, I didn't really TRUST His rules for my life. Time and time again through out my life I would justify my actions and do things my way. Then wonder why things didn't work out. I believed my actions were still good because I was protecting, loving, or helping someone else. I wasn't that bad … I wasn't hurting anyone (only myself.) I was hurting someone though … the most important one in my life… GOD.
I wasn't listening or TRUSTING His plans and control in my life. I was always helping, fixing, or making things my way … Knowing it wasn't what God wanted me to do. Breaking the commandments and believing I had a better plan. Then not understanding when my plans ended in devastation or heartache. It's like a parent telling a child not to touch a hot stove. The child's curiosity and interests out weigh and they get burned. I just kept doing what I wanted despite GOD's loving warnings. I realized that the best way for us to LOVE GOD is through a relationship of COMMUNICATION and TRUST.
I now TRUST God first with all my heart! Even when I don't understand, even when its hard, even when it hurts. I now know that ultimately he has great plans for me. He can see the big picture. He knows what good things will come if I just TRUST His plan and follow His guidance. So it isn't just loving that is important it's how you love … And Loving God first above all others … Through my (not as simples as it appears) formula
COMMUNICATION + TRUST = LOVE
COMMUNICATION – praying often and always, relationships need talking, and it does take work at first, but it gets better and easier the more you do it! He does respond to you! Most often we don't get what we want because we don't ask with a pure prayerful heart!
(See Proverbs 28:9 & James 5: 13-16)
TRUST– truly believe in the Bible and it's words, don't justify or change the rules to fit your life, push through the darkness with God … He will not let you down … He promises this!
(See Job 21:16 Jeremiah 29:11)
Start your "LOVE STORY" today with TRUST in the Lord … I would be delighted to hear it and share mine with you.
Love & Prayers
Jessica xoxo
PS I was Baptized today (Jan 2nd) I'll share this soon!
